I Refused to Give Up My Seat to a Pregnant Woman on a Bus

Public transportation often brings together people from all walks of life, and with that comes moments of kindness, tension, or even conflict. Many riders rely on buses and trains daily, and it’s not uncommon for questions of courtesy—like giving up a seat—to spark strong reactions. On Reddit, people frequently share their personal experiences in such situations, and one user recently posted a story about facing this exact kind of challenge.

They wrote:

I have a non-visible disability that doesn’t allow me to stand for very long. I even have a certificate that proves I am disabled.

It was the afternoon and the bus was quite full. I was sitting in an aisle seat, cramped between a school kid and a man with a massive backpack, when a pregnant woman (not heavily pregnant from what I could see) stepped onto the bus.

She took one look around, made a beeline for me, and told me she needed my seat. No polite question, no “please,” no "hello"—just the demand to give up my seat.

I explained to her that I had a disability, that standing was difficult for me, and that I would rather not be in pain. I froze when, suddenly, that woman began calling me rude and accusing me of trying to harm her and her baby by refusing to get up.

Another woman eventually offered her seat, but for the rest of the ride I could feel that pregnant woman glaring at me. When I got up at my stop, she made a snide remark about how I was surely faking it and that I could walk just fine.

I hate when some people feel like the world has to bend to their will just because they’re pregnant—especially when they’re so rude about the whole situation. I would’ve given up my seat without a problem if I wasn’t disabled.

Other Reddit users quickly joined the discussion with their opinions and suggestions:

• You don’t have to explain anything. Just say ‘no’ or ‘I’m tired.’ People don’t know how long you’ve been standing, how tired you are, or what your reason is—and that’s okay. This used to happen to me a lot on the subway and bus, and over time I learned that it’s enough to just set that boundary. [edited] © whothejoee / Reddit

• You have my deepest sympathy. I have degenerative disc disease and have undergone five back surgeries, including a spinal fusion. I also live with permanent nerve damage, but unless you had an MRI built into your eyes (or noticed the zipper-like scar on my lower back), you’d never know how damaged my body really is. I face the same hateful treatment from people whenever I use my handicap placard. © Fragrant-Tomatillo19 / Reddit

• I’m not disabled, but this reminds me of when I was heavily pregnant and sitting on the train with my bag in my lap. Another pregnant woman got on and decided she wanted my seat. I guess because I was one of the few younger women sitting, she thought she could guilt-trip me.
  As soon as she finished her not-so-polite rant about how she was pregnant and that ‘her feet hurt, so I should give up my seat,’ I said, ‘Oh, you poor thing! I definitely know what you mean.’ Then I picked up my bag and hefted my eight-month-pregnant body out of the seat.
  The look on her face was priceless—especially when I started chatting with her, asking questions about her sore feet, her back, and how far along she was, all while rubbing my obnoxiously large belly right at her eye level.
  Exactly one stop later, she got off the train, her face as red as a tomato, and I got my seat back. © purple-paper-punch / Reddit

• I had severely sprained my ankle and could barely walk on it when an entitled woman—probably in her mid-fifties, not even elderly—pulled the same stunt on me. I gave her a nasty smile but didn’t say anything as I got up. Instead, I lifted my injured leg completely off the floor and used the walls and poles on the bus to get up as awkwardly and slowly as I possibly could before hobbling away.
  A kind person soon stood up and offered me his seat, while that woman sat there looking more and more uncomfortable, knowing everyone had just seen her kick someone injured out of their spot. I made sure to flash my teeth at her every time she looked my way. © ThatsItImOverThis / Reddit

• I’m six months pregnant and spent a week in Honolulu/Waikiki. Since we didn’t rent a car, we relied on the bus system. I know that as a pregnant woman, I’m allowed to use the disabled seats, but I avoided them whenever possible.
  The one time I did sit in a disabled spot—and there were still others available—I moved to a regular seat as soon as one opened up. I also never asked anyone to give up their seat, even when the bus was full. © HumbleCoyoteGames / Reddit

• A suggestion: try not to care what rude strangers think; any reasonable person that overheard the exchange would not think less of you for voicing your own needs. © ElizaJaneVegas / Reddit

Often, it’s the smallest moments that uncover the deepest realities. An unusual detail, a shift in routine, or even a silent pause can turn life completely around. Recently, a Bright Side reader sent in a letter describing one of those moments that forever changed how she viewed her marriage.