I Refused to Honor My Fiancé’s Absurd Family Tradition, His Mom Is Fuming and Wants Us to Break Up

When we start our own family, we naturally expect that we’ll be setting our own rules in it, together with our spouse. But sometimes, relatives from one of the partners’ side may want to interfere with a natural course of events and establish their own rules. Such thing happened to our today’s heroine, a woman, who is only starting her own family, but has already faced some ultimatums from her in-laws. But she’s refusing to keep up with them.

The conflict happened when the woman least expected it.

A woman, 27, has recently sent a letter to our editorial, and she seemed to be fuming about the unhealthy situation happening in her family at the moment. She revealed that she feels like all her hopes for her future with her fiancé are crashing. The woman explained that the most annoying thing about the whole situation is that this is happening against her will, as someone else is dictating her some absolutely absurd rules.

The woman wrote, «My fiancé Eric, 29, and I had been dating for 9 years before he finally proposed to me. I was over the moon with happiness, because I really love him and I have been dreaming about having our family. His proposal marked a serious milestone in my life, and from that day all my thoughts were about our wedding day and all arrangements that were related to it.»

The woman explained that after Eric proposed to her, it was obvious and logical that she would have to meet his whole family, her future in-laws, and she was excited about it, too. She wrote, «I have met his family, maybe once or twice, and they have always been extremely friendly. But we didn’t meet them very often, because they all live in different parts of the world, and it has been extremely hard for us all to arrange a meetup because of different time zones and busy routines of everyone. So, I can say that I hadn’t had a really substantial chance to know my future in-laws better.»

One family dinner turned the woman’s life upside down.

The woman goes on with her story, saying, «This big argument happened during our last visit one month ago. My fiancé and I were invited to a really big family dinner at his parents’ house. I was pretty much excited about everything, and I kept asking Eric the questions about his family members, their views of life and peculiarities.
The thought of getting closer with the nearest and dearest of my future husband was really making me feel good. Apart from that, Eric and I were busy looking for a place to rent and move in together and also all that wedding preparations started for us. We arranged a trip to his native country and arrived at his parents’ house on an arranged day.»

Everything went just good from the start. The woman wrote, «While we were having this dinner, both Eric and I mentioned it to his family that it’s a really big step in our relationship for us, and we were sharing our plans for the future with Eric’s parents and the rest of the family members. His parents and brothers showed their happiness for us, and then out of nowhere Eric’s youngest SIL asked ’So is she going to take the test?’»

Eric’s family wanted his wife-to-be to obey from the start and honor their tradition.

The woman goes on, saying, «I asked ’What test?’ And then his mom replied and started explaining to me that their family has this tradition where the future MIL and the wife-to-be go to some medical institution and arrange a full medical check-up for the future daughter-in-law.
Obviously, Eric’s mother and aunts went through the same test before they were getting married and enrolled into the family. This test included an expanded blood check, a visit to a gynecologist, and even a genetic check-up, among other points.»

The woman was shocked to find out that she was going to be tested. In the hindsight, her future husband, Eric, wasn’t supposed to pass this «test» before their marriage. Her in-laws insisted that she would go through this medical screening alone, or accompanied by her future MIL, and they’d prefer the second option, when MIL would actually control everything.

The woman wrote, «I found it absolutely ridiculous. Eric and I, we discussed everything before we got engaged, and medical things were present in the list. But we were going to do it while planning a baby, to make sure we don’t have any health issues that’d prevent us from giving birth to a healthy human being. And now, his whole family were literally forcing me into this, and I had to account for the results of the checkup, too. That was too much for me, I didn’t want to feel obliged to do anything from the start, so I said no, and explained why I did it.»

All women in the family followed this tradition, but our heroine refused to do so.

The woman explained, «I learned that Eric’s mom and all three of his brothers’ wives have undergone the same procedure before they were getting married to the men of this family. And I also knew that their other relatives followed the same weird tradition. The explanation for it was simple, they wanted to make sure that all women of their family deliver healthy babies, but I really hated the thought of being given no choice. And Eric’s mom made it clear that either I pass this test or I will be not welcomed in their family anymore, and they won’t agree to our marriage.»

The woman concluded, «Now, after I said no, Eric’s mom insists that he must break up with me and cancel our engagement. He, in his turn, is pushing me hard to ’be a clever woman and to follow their traditions.’»

She also wrote, «He insists that it’s done for our benefit, too. And the fact that his parents are actually paying for this test, could make things more attractive for me, according to my future husband. But I just don’t want to obey and do what I don’t feel like doing, because someone pays for it. I have nothing to hide from them all, I do have a good medical history, without any chronic illnesses and other issues that might prevent me from giving birth smoothly. But I wanted my husband to support me in my choice, especially when we had an agreement about medical checkup before, but it was different from what I’ve been offered to do now.»

The desperate woman now wants to break up with her fiancé, because, as she says, «I don’t want to start a family with a person, who can’t take my side. He didn’t even try to speak up for me, he was all the way saying that I must do that, no matter what. I think he’s too much dependent on his family’s rules, and I can’t stand this in a relationship. So, I’m calling it quits.»

And here’s yet another family story, from a woman who found a tampon in her spouse’s car, and it led to a chain of creepy discoveries she made about her husband.