I Said I Don’t Want to Be a Mom—Now HR Is Coming After Me

I have read many stories about HR getting involved in people's personal lives and TBH I have to wonder what planet they work on. I have been in the work force for 50 years and the only time HR gets involved in people's family matters is when someone has to take time off for a family issue. They don't like that! Being family oriented is wonderful but unless you were trying to actively kill their children your co workers don't get to dictate your work or home life. When HR steps in because of it, you have LABOR LAWS that can shut them down. Also tell your nosy co workers that just because they choose to be brood mares,(I know, but I am making a point) doesn't give them the right to diminish your life's choices or fuck with your JOB! HR had NO CAUSE to ask any questions about it as it wasn't working related. It's a shame that people who are not happy with their own life because of poor choices, have to shit on someone else's, because they have to work harder with each poor choice they make. I'm child free, but NOT BY CHOICE, so I know what I am saying, and honestly if I had been blessed with a child I would have stopped at one because having children just to say look how many I have, is usually when people use them for sympathy and a reason to not take care of business. The "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS" line is a lot of BS.

The co worker who asked , “You never want to be a mom?” was the intrusive one. That is NO ONES business. Let’s ask the guys, hey, when are you gonna get your wife pregnant? Who’s infertile, you or her? Childbirth, child rearing discussions has zero to do with work. HR needs to make it abundantly clear that asking anyone if they plan on having kids is absolutely out of bounds.

"They asked me to write a written statement explaining what I said and why I said it". HR had had a complaint, they are obligated to look into it. They also offered worthwhile advise, "be mindful of what you share at work". They may very well have said the same thing to the person who complained - "be mindful of what you share at work" HR has to make peace in the work place- that is their job!
Write an honest straight forward account of what you said as HR asked you to do. If it's as you said, HR will see the truth. You state that "I didn't insult anyone" Obviously, you did. People don't go to HR if they are not insulted. You may not have meant to insult anyone, but apparently you did- a pregnant woman. "No. Never." Might have been a good place to stop in your reply. Maybe even a simple "No" to a borderline inappropriate workplace question. Take away- "be mindful of what you share at work".

OMG, whoever ratted, tattle tail, should be ashamed, and HR, wow. I personally think HR is only there for management and the popular kids. I would look for another job. HR told you who's side they are on, without even hearing your side

Why would you even want to work with these freaks? They're just jealous because you have control over your own life and they're not seen as anything aside from a breeding animal from the day they start to show. They brought into the fairytale of being a wife and mother and when the reality hits, they miss what their life was and could have been. Their existence revolves around changing babies, vomit, sleeplessness, worry, stress, mindless baby talk, laundry, feeding, cleaning and usually, playing mother to their manchild husband who no longer find them as attractive and at least half of their marriages will end in divorce.
Then they have to pretend it's the most wonderful thing in the world for the rest of their existence because they'll be called a monster for being honest about it.
You were wise enough to avoid it and they HATE you for it :D you could find a new job with sane people or you could stay there and rub it in their faces by constantly telling them about the fantastic holiday you enjoyed lately, all the fun times you've had with your family and friends, all that free time you've had to enjoy your hobbies and the freedom you have to do whatever you want. I'd be tempted to do the latter option.

So, them showing off their kids and making you uncomfortable because you don't have any is alright? Leave the family at home and do work at work. If you want to talk about personal things, that's fine but remember opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one and most of them stink, so stop battling to HR, pick up your big girl undies, and stop taking it personally when you have kids and someone doesn't want them or visa versa. You are NTA. You lodge a complaint that they first made you uncomfortable and it turned hostile fast, exhibit A: you got in trouble with HR for voicing and opinion.

Find a new joh and just quit without giving notice.