You should have kept it to yourself. You ruined lives.
I Took a DNA Test for Fun and Ended Up Uncovering a Family Secret
Nothing is worse than discovering that the person who calls you “son” is not your real father. This has happened to some people who do an at-home DNA test out of sheer curiosity or to find out more about their roots. The young man in our article took the test together with his father, and both discovered a hidden truth about their family.
The birth of a baby is a full-time responsibility that should be split in two. And to ensure the child’s healthy growth, parents should avoid putting them through uncomfortable situations. Let’s examine how this person and his family dealt with the situation.
It didn’t make sense to me, as my dad and I share the same haplogroup, and we look very much alike. But my cousin also took the test and shared 24.6% with me, so she was predicted to be my half-sister. First cousins are only supposed to have a 12% match rate.
I couldn’t think of any genetic parentage to explain the results, so I had to consult with experts. Basically, the shared percentages are very accurate and unlikely to be false. The only explanation I could find for this was that my uncle — my cousin’s father and my father’s brother — is actually my father.
Without a second thought, I confronted my mother. She is a businesswoman and is on the road from time to time. She didn’t know that my father and I had done this test, as she was away then and had just returned. My mother and I have never had a “traditional” relationship because she was always focused on her work. That was why I was mainly raised by my father.
I abruptly asked her if she had cheated on my dad with my uncle. I’ve never seen someone’s color drain from their face so quickly. She looked shocked and muttered, “What kind of question is that? Of course not!” So I told her everything, about the test, the percentages, the coincidences... My mother threw herself on the floor, crying and begging me not to say anything to Dad.
I stayed in my room for the next few hours and heard my whole family going through a meltdown. My parents argued heatedly, and my grandparents came running to see what was going on. My aunt-in-law and biological father showed up shortly after, and I’m sure I heard him and my “father” getting into a fight. Total chaos.
I feel terrible about this. I know it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but feel it happened because of me. None of this would have happened if I had spent my birthday money on something else. But another side of me is glad to know the truth. I’m too scared to go out. All I hear now is my father sobbing. My life is in pieces.
How to deal with this kind of situation?
- First of all, it’s important to remember that living with someone and sharing good memories go beyond blood ties, so keep that in mind before doing anything rash.
- There are several cases where, for one reason or another, a father discovered that his wife had been unfaithful at the beginning of their relationship. And while divorce is inevitable in these cases, many choose to maintain contact with their child because of the developed affection over the years.
- Family relationships are often complex, especially when your partner cheats on you with a sibling. Still, you have to be tactful in telling things before judging the mother for hiding the truth too long.
- On the other hand, it is possible to prevent this kind of trauma by being proactive in determining paternity before signing any birth certificate. Of course, this may also vary according to the trust that exists in the couple and the regulations of each country.
- These at-home DNA tests are a double-edged sword. There have been many cases of people who found out things about their families and ended up distancing themselves from their relatives. So it’s best to ask yourself if you’re really ready to take these tests.
- For those who have found out who their biological father is through these tests, it helps to join support groups. Sometimes it is good to meet people who have gone through a similar situation to get guidance.
- Sometimes the quickest cure for trauma is to talk about it openly with family members. This can bring some sort of relief and, by accepting the reality, a sense of liberation.
- On the other hand, at-home DNA testing should be done under psychological supervision. That way, hidden truths can be better dealt with and confronted as necessary.
This isn’t the first time something like this has gone down in the family, causing tensions, just like what happened with this grandma.