I Tried to "Fix" My Grandson’s Bold Look, and Now My Family Won’t Speak to Me

As a grandmother who has always prided herself on family values and tradition, Marta has found herself at odds with the bold choices her grandson has made. Vibrant blue hair, piercings, and even tattoos have left her feeling disconnected from the boy she once knew. In an attempt to “fix” things, Marta took matters into her own hands, but now she’s facing backlash from her family. Here's her story.

Marta, we understand how difficult it must be for you to navigate this situation with your grandson, especially when it feels like his choices challenge the values you hold dear. While it’s natural to want to help or guide him, here are a few psychological strategies that might help you move forward.

Practice empathy and open communication.

Try to see things from your grandson’s perspective. Young people today often use their appearance as a form of self-expression, which is their way of exploring their identity. By approaching the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment, you may find that he’s more willing to share why these changes are important to him.

This could open the door to a deeper understanding between you both. Empathy exercises can be particularly helpful in fostering this mutual understanding, allowing family members to appreciate one another’s experiences.

Respect boundaries.

While your intention to help came from a place of care, it’s important to remember that your grandson’s parents are primarily responsible for setting boundaries and rules. Overstepping, even with good intentions, can create tension between you and your daughter. Offering your support when asked and respecting parental authority will strengthen your relationship and prevent further conflict.

Focus on shared goals.

Instead of focusing on the differences, find common ground. For instance, both you and your grandson likely want a strong, loving relationship and mutual respect. By discussing these shared values, you can work together to maintain a close bond despite differences in appearance or lifestyle.

At Bright Side, we explored more stories about grandmothers. Some are heartwarming and funny, while others carry a touch of sadness.