I Won't Do My Husband's Laundry Anymore Because He Criticized Me After Surgery

Being a wife and a mother of three children can be exhausting, even when someone is perfectly healthy. But dealing with a household after surgery would be too much for most of us, just like it happened with a woman who turned to the Reddit community to share her story and ask for the opinion of others.

Being questioned about a T-shirt after surgery.

So here is what's happened to the woman:

I had gallbladder removal surgery yesterday, and thankfully all went well. They removed a massive stone and several smaller ones. I even got to take pictures.

Coming around from the anesthesia was harder than I'd imagined, but the doctor said it was quite normal to feel very tired and groggy afterward, they said this was quite normal. I was lucky enough to have my surgery in a private hospital funded by the NHS, but I still couldn't wait to get home to see my children and sit on my own sofa, in my own house, and watch my own TV.

I got home quite tired and sore just before 7 pm. The sedative has definitely worn off at this point and I haven't had any more pain relief, so I just want to sit down and relax and take some codeine and give my kids a cuddle.

I walked in, and the living room looked a mess which was annoying, but my husband had made sure my pillow was on the sofa like I'd asked for earlier, and it's hard work looking after three kids (10 autistic,6 & 2), they'd not long finished dinner (take away) and he'd been doing loads of laundry that had piled up since our washer broke and only got fixed the day before. I didn't say anything about it, it's not the end of the world.

I had barely sat down five minutes when my husband turned to me and said, "Oh, I don't mean to have a go at you since you just got home from surgery but can you please STOP putting my football shirts in the dryer since it ruins them, I've told you before they can't go in there!"

I was a bit taken aback, like is this really the best time to bring this up?? He even acknowledged that I just got home from surgery!!! And for the record, I don't think it's wrong of him to not want his shirts ruined, but really?! This is the time you're going to bring it up?!

No, "Do you need anything? Do you need any medication? Are you comfortable?" Nah, just "my shirts!"

Getting frustrated by her husband's accuse.

Not surprisingly, the woman in the story has become quite frustrated by her husband's question, though she only shared her true emotions on Reddit.

"I don't remember putting them in the washing machine, or the dryer, and I don't remember folding one up when the dryer finished either, so all I could say was sorry.

I genuinely thought his football shirts were ok to go in the dryer, I absolutely swear I remember him saying last year they could go in, and I'm usually pretty good about remembering what can be tumble-dried and what can't.

He's made mistakes too, I've told him a few times that our daughters' school cardigan shouldn't be tumble-dried. He completely ruined one, said he'd replace it, and six months later still hasn't replaced it. If you live in the UK, I don't need to tell you branded uniform items are not cheap."

The woman became very upset and thought her husband should do his laundry then. So this way he would be responsible if anything got damaged. She didn't say it out loud though, instead, she shared her story with the Reddit community and asked the opinion of the other users.

Most commenters agreed with her.

Other Reddit users generally agreed with her, while some of them were much more unhappy about her husband's behavior.

Like this unknown user, who said this: "Girl, you just got out of surgery, and the first thing this man says to you when you walk in the door isn’t “How are you feeling?” or “Do you need anything?” but complaining about his football shirts??? Are you serious??
Sir, read the room. You were literally cut open less than 24 hours ago, and this man is more worried about a polyester shirt than his wife recovering from an operation?? That’s wild."

Another Redditor added this: "Your husband picked the WRONG time to bring this up, and his delivery was garbage. You should be concerned that his biggest concern in your most vulnerable moment is his t-shirts."

Most users also thought that the husband should do his laundry like this woman with similar surgery, "I had gallbladder removal surgery back in 2023, and I was resting most of the time and my doctor told me I couldn't lift anything over 10lbs. When I had gotten out, the day before, my boyfriend rushed cleaning so I could move around if needed and helped with anything I needed for 5–6 weeks during healing. I even slept in his spot on the bed so I could go to the bathroom faster.
Your husband can do his own laundry. You just got home from surgery, him complaining about jerseys when he could wash them himself is beyond ridiculous."

Different views were also shared.

We can also find slightly different views of the story, like in this comment: "You were both overreacting due to circumstances at that time. He was obviously overwhelmed with chores and you coming home, due to op and pain of surgery. He could have reminded you in a nicer way, but realistically he was just frustrated to find his shirt in the dryer. Have a chat, make it up, and let it go."

Or here: "Eh, I think you are overreacting a bit. He was just communicating something that you didn't know. Yes, he could have pampered you all night... but I don't think this deserves a boycott."

And what are your thoughts about this, how would you have reacted in the case of the woman?

You can read about another husband and his behavior in our article, My Husband Is Obsessed With Savings and Won’t Spend a Penny on Me.