My Boyfriend Says He’s Too Lazy to Propose to Me
Mixed signals are the worst — today, you think you’ll get married soon, but tomorrow you’re not even sure if your partner loves you. We’ve got a letter from someone who deal exactly with this. After 3 years of talks about marriage and family, her boyfriend suddenly backs off, saying that he’s just too lazy to propose.
Our reader asked us for help.
Thank you for reaching out to us! We have some tips that might help you resolve the problem.
Give him some more time.
He might actually need some time to prepare for the proposal. Even if you want to keep it simple, it doesn’t mean your boyfriend wants it to be like that too. He might want to make the proposal day memorable and special, just give him some time and don’t rush things.
Alternatively, you might discuss a realistic timeline for when you both feel comfortable taking that step. Having a plan can help you deal with uncertainty.
Decide if you’re okay with his laziness.
He’s too lazy to propose now, later he might be too lazy to be a good husband. If he can’t find time for such an important thing, imagine how he would deal with his future responsibilities as a husband, let alone a father. It’s likely that you’ll have to take care of him and always wait for when he’s finally ready to take matters into his own hands.
Talk to him about his concerns.
He might be putting off the marriage because he’s actually unsure of his feelings for you. Talking and doing are completely different things. Now there’s nothing that prevents him from getting married to you, he just might be overwhelmed or simply not ready to commit.
If he has some concerns or fears about marriage, listen carefully and try to understand where this’s coming from. It could be related to his past experience, anxiety, or other things that you might not be aware of. In any case, don’t force him into marriage in any way, as it will only scare him off.
He might not change his mind.
He might also use lack of time as an excuse not to get married to you. Be ready for the fact that he might never actually pop the question. The most important thing is to decide whether you’re okay with that.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage later, you might want to reconsider your current one. Perhaps it would be better for you to find someone else who has the same views on marriage and family.