My Daughter Refused to Let Me Join Her Family Vacation, So I Got the Perfect Payback

Having a close-knit family is wonderful. But the key to success in this case is communication, especially when it has to do with kids or travel plans. One of our readers reached out to share how her daughter’s lack of empathy led to a rift within her family.

This is Megan’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

Since I retired, I have been helping my daughter and her husband with the kids. We became a lot closer and did a lot more things together, like going on vacation and having massive Christmas dinners. But last week, they did something that broke me.

My daughter told me that she and her husband had booked a cruise for themselves and the kids. They did it without telling me, and only did so because they wanted me to watch the house while they were gone.

I felt a bit offended, so I asked about it, and she said, “It’s better if it’s just us this time. We need some time alone to bond as a family.” It was a ridiculous thing to say because we have always “bonded as a family,” and I didn’t see a reason to be excluded now.

But I forced a smile and told them to enjoy their trip. They left this weekend and at first I was upset, but after a few days I got an idea of my own. While they were gone, I decided that it was time for me to do something I had always wanted, while showing them how much they hurt me.

So I called up a couple of my lifelong friends and asked if they wanted to go on a 2-week Christmas cruise with me. Three of them agreed so I booked tickets. We’ll be leaving on the 20th of December and returning on the 3rd of January.

I texted my daughter to let her know that I won’t be hosting the massive family get together as I had been doing for years up to this point, and that they would need to make their own arrangement. She completely lost it.

My daughter said that I was being selfish because the kids had really been looking forward to seeing me over Christmas. And that I was ’ruining’ the entire festive season for them. I told her that I had put my life aside to help and support them, and this was something I’ve always wanted to do.

If they could go on a cruise, so could I, especially since they were the reason I haven’t done it until now. That was when her entire story changed, and she said that they wanted to invite me on their trip but couldn’t afford another person. Yet she never asked if I’d be able to pay for myself.

The thing is, I feel guilty about my grandchildren missing the Christmas tradition they had gotten so used to over the years. So, Bright Side, should I put my grandchildren first? Or should I tick an item off my bucket list?

Regards,
Megan D.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Dear Megan,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story.

You’re not wrong for finally choosing yourself, but before you decide whether to cancel your trip, address the actual issue, which isn’t Christmas. It’s the shift in how your daughter sees your role in their family.

For years, you’ve been not just a grandmother but a built-in support system, holiday host, and essentially an extension of their household. They benefited from that closeness right up until it became inconvenient for them to include you.

Their cruise wasn’t “family bonding.” It was an exclusion masked as gratitude and justified with an excuse. Your Christmas trip isn’t petty, it’s a correction that reminds everyone that your time and presence aren’t guaranteed by default.

If you’re feeling guilty about the grandkids, frame it not as abandoning tradition but evolving it. Spend a special holiday with them before or after your cruise, start a new tradition just with them, or plan something meaningful when you’re back.

But don’t sacrifice something you’ve put off for years just to preserve their comfort. Choosing your cruise isn’t choosing yourself over your grandchildren; it’s choosing balance over being taken for granted.

Megan is in a tough position, but it isn’t one she can’t get out of while preserving her point. She isn’t the only one who is having family struggles, though.

Another one of our readers and shared their own family issue. Read the full version here: My Stepbrother Crashed My Car—My Family Blames Me.