My Ex Made an Outrageous Request and My Wife Agreed to It

Betrayal can cut deep for many relationships out there, especially in Barry’s case. He thought he found the one after marrying his childhood best friend, but after getting cheated on and divorced, he moved on to something better. His ex? She wasn’t so accepting of that.

Here’s Barry’s story.

Hi Bright Side,

I got married to my childhood best friend many years ago. She also happens to also be my sister’s best friend. After a few years of being together, she decided to cheat on me.

Luckily, we didn’t have kids, so divorce was an easy choice for me. A few years later, I found someone much more worthy of my love and time, and we got married after a year of being together. My ex never stopped pestering me even after the divorce.

She kept calling me, begging me to get back together, even when I was dating my now-wife. During the wedding, she went too far and told me she still loved me and wants me to break it off. But, I always gave her the cold shoulder, because he doesn’t deserve my time or attention.

I now have two kids with my wife and haven’t heard from my ex since the wedding, until now. My sister came by the other day with news of my ex, since they still hung out. She said that my ex only has two months to live and requested that I be with her for those couple of months.

My sister told me she doesn’t want anything too intimate, just my presence, but I made my decision clear. I’m not doing it. My sister went behind my back and told my wife about this. My wife pitied my ex and wanted me to reconsider.

But, I can’t. Not after what she did. Is it cruel of me? Am I taking the right decision?

Barry M.

What the Bright Side community thinks.

Several readers voiced their opinions about the situation, giving Barry more to think about. Some felt that he needed to stand his ground, while others were more on the ex’s side.

• jackrabbitjerry • 1k points • 7 hours ago
  “I’d steer clear. The potential for misunderstanding is high, and the upside is low. If you want to be there for her, something simple and supportive, like helping with errands, would be a much better move.”
• phoenix_jacket • 3k points • 6 hours ago
  “It’s a tough spot. Your wife is only saying yes because she doesn’t want you to blame her later. But you know she really doesn’t want this to happen. The whole thing is just sad for everyone, especially your ex.”
• candidJen • 996 points • 3 hours ago
  “Honestly, the whole thing with your ex is just really, really weird. She’s the one who cheated, and now she’s been hung up on you for over ten years?”
• Sidekick23_me • 435 points • 1 hour ago
  “If your wife is okay with it, I see no reason to say no to a dying woman’s final wish. It’s an act of kindness, and you might get more closure from it.”

Barry, this is our take on the situation.

Hey Barry,

We don’t think doing what your ex wants is the right choice. Your wife could be saying yes only because she doesn’t want to upset you. Your ex made her choice years ago when she betrayed you and broke your heart.

She’s in the past and needs to stay in the past. Your sister is only supporting this request because your ex is still her friend, and she cares about her final wishes. Nonetheless, you don’t owe anyone anything. The most you can do is give your ex a phone call and just tell her you’re not going to play into the husband fantasy.

But, even a phone call could be tricky, because she might try calling you again afterwards. So, the best thing to do is to directly tell your sister you refuse to do it and thank your wife for being understanding, but you love her and value her more than any of your ex’s final wishes.

Even after a big divorce, you might find your spouse asking for ridiculous requests. Just like this woman’s husband, who demanded they still live together even after getting a divorce that he wanted.