My Ex Tore Our Family Apart for Another Woman’s Child and Now Karma’s Knocking

<strong>Being unfaithful while being in a relationship could possibly tear families apart and leave lasting emotional wounds. When a partner is unfaithful, the pain isn’t limited to the one who was deceived. It can also affect the children within the family, who often experience the fallout as well. However, it’s essential to recognize that no child should ever be held responsible for the circumstances of their birth.

Recently, a mother of three decided to share her story on Reddit and asked for advice and guidance on a personal and delicate matter. She explained how her ex-husband attempted to pressure her into purchasing gifts for a child he conceived during his affair. When she declined, he reacted with hostility, further intensifying the tension between them.

A woman shared on Reddit her deeply personal and complex ordeal with her ex-husband.

Being a co-parent with an ex-partner, who has broken your trust, can be an overwhelming challenge. Setting and maintaining firm boundaries is essential for managing this difficult dynamic and taking care of yourself. A Reddit user, posting under the name NovelDot112, recently shared her experience.

She began her story by stating [edited], “My ex cheated on me and had a child with another woman. I’ve only seen this child 5 times and have no relationship with her. My kids don’t consider her their sister. My ex has no money, which is his issue alone. But now he insists that I buy his daughter gifts and treat her with warmth and affection—I just can’t do it.”

She elaborated further: “I’ve never interacted with her, and while I understand she’s not to blame for my ex’s actions, I prefer to maintain distance. My kids don’t see her as their sibling, and I’ve never tried to change that. If they decide to form a bond with her, that’s their choice, and I’ll accept it. But if they don’t, I see no reason to encourage it. My ex is fully aware of this.”

She also noted the strained relationship between her children and their father: “He knows our kids don’t feel connected to his daughter. Their relationship with him isn’t great either. He’s not entirely absent, but since the divorce, he’s been unreliable. He works long hours, lives nearly two hours away, and doesn’t share custody evenly.”

The OP's ex partner is raising his daughter by himself.

The woman mentioned in her post that her ex-husband has full custody of his daughter and is going for child support, but her mom isn't paying.

She also added, "I have primary custody of our three children (11m, 9f, 9m). He gets our kids every other weekend."

The OP shared, "My ex lost his job in January. He notified the courts and his child support payment was reduced for our kids while he's not earning as much. The change in job and pay has meant he struggled far more, and the kids have noticed the difference in quality of life when they're with him. He also warned them months ago that they would get a small Christmas gift each from him because he cannot afford more."

The OP's ex has financial difficulties and he wants his ex wife to give him money.

The woman shared, "This leads onto his daughter. His parents died some years before our kids were born, his sister doesn't talk to him, his brother stopped talking to him after the affair and the child's mother's family is not involved in her life either."

"So it's just him for her, and he can't afford to get her much. He mentioned this in our co-parenting app and when we went to meet with our twins' teacher, he asked if I would get her something or somethings, so she can have some presents to open for Christmas. I told him no."

The situation escalated very quickly from then on. The woman wrote, "He didn't ask me again until yesterday. He had the kids at the weekend and dropped them off at my house afterward. He saw the gifts under the tree, and he was angry at me."

"He asked if I got his daughter anything, and I said no. He asked me what our kids got, and I wouldn't tell him. I reminded him it was none of his business what I buy. Then he took out this dollar store doll, and he told me that was all he could afford for his daughter, and she's just four years old."

At this point, the OP's ex is claiming that she's a terrible person and that she's to blame.

The OP wrote, "He told me he knows he's to blame, but she wasn't, and he told me I could have helped, just a little, or could have helped the kids get close to her, and maybe they would have wanted to give her something. He said instead I was just a cruel and selfish person to an innocent child, and he said she only knows being abandoned by her mom and her mom's family, she's unwanted by her own siblings and her siblings' mom can't even be compassionate enough to get her one more thing so she doesn't just get one tiny doll for Christmas."

"He also put it on me that if he got our kids nothing because he knew I'd get them something, and spent that money on his daughter instead, that it would make them pull away from him more. He left angry, and I went back inside and carried on as normal."

"I know I'm not a saint for this, and I don't pretend to be. But am I a bad person for not getting the child something for Christmas when I know my ex can't afford anything else?"

Of course, Redditors shared their opinions through the comment section.

A Redditor wrote, "He is the one who destroyed his family. He created this situation. The child is innocent in this."

Another user added, "He had 12 months to get another job, why should it be your problem to buy a gift for his affair child. I have half siblings and my parents struggled but never asked their other parent for money to pay for Christmas gifts for us. Your ex sounds so delusional."

Someone else commented, "His life problems aren't yours. Yes it is sad his child isn't getting much for Christmas but do not let him make that your problem. He betrayed you, you owe him literally nothing."

A user shared this, "He sounds like a horrible person. Maybe he should've used his brain before making that many children he has no means to take care of. It's not your issue. Why doesn't he track down the mother of HIS child?"

Blended families can be a true blessing! However, they can cause a lot of trouble, like the story of a woman, whose husband has legal issues with this ex-wife, who is also pregnant! The distressed woman details her outrage over her husband's ex’s pregnancy news and why it ignited a major conflict within her own family.