My Ex Wanted Time Off From His Responsibilities, I Decided It Was Time He Faced Them

Co-parenting is all about teamwork. Both parents should share the ups and downs of raising their child. But what do you do when one of them decides to take a step back, expecting the other to do it all? One of our readers recently shared her experience after her ex made a surprising and bold request.

Dear Bright Side,

My ex suddenly called me, and he sounded desperate. He said, “Sarah, I need a break from child support for just three months. My stepdaughter is very sick, and I’m broke.” My heart ached. I thought, he’s struggling, and maybe this one time I should cut him some slack.

But two weeks later, I found out the truth. My ex wasn’t saving for medical bills, he was saving for a trip to Europe with his new wife and their daughter. I only learned this when our son accidentally spilled the beans. I felt my blood boil.

So the next visitation day, I showed up at his doorstep with a big suitcase. When my ex opened the door, he looked at me, then at the suitcase, confused. I told him, “Since you want a break from financially supporting our child, I figured I’d take a break too. He’ll be living with you for the next three months.”

My ex thought I was bluffing. He panicked when I actually dropped our son off Monday morning with school schedules and homework folders. Within days, they were both calling me nonstop, begging me to take him back. His wife even texted me, saying I was being “petty” and “using a child to prove a point.”

But honestly? For once, he had to face the consequences of his selfish choices. Am I wrong for standing my ground?

Sincerely,
Sarah

Thank you, Sarah, for opening up and trusting us with your story. We really appreciate it. To support you through this tough moment, we’ve put together four tips to help you handle things confidently and come out stronger on the other side.

• Lead with the child’s needs, not the emotion. It’s completely valid that you felt betrayed and angry, especially after learning that your ex lied about something so serious. But when children are involved, the focus should always circle back to what’s best for the child. You’re not wrong for setting a boundary, but reframing it as a teaching moment rather than a punishment can help mend the relationship in a more sustainable way.
• Set financial boundaries in writing. While it might feel awkward, now is the time to draw up a more formal, written agreement regarding child support. A clear document outlining when payments are expected, and under what conditions, can help eliminate emotional manipulation later.
• Explain the impact, not just the act. Sometimes people need to be told not just what they did wrong, but how it impacted you and your child. Share how your trust was shattered, not because he needed help, but because he made a choice and lied to your face. Let him know that your reaction was less about payback and more about confronting the imbalance he’s grown used to.
• Use the experience to redefine co-parenting roles. Now is the time to sit down with your ex (if possible) and redefine how co-parenting works moving forward. Make it clear that honesty and mutual respect are non-negotiable. You can suggest using a shared co-parenting calendar or app to track visits, school commitments, and expenses. Clear structure equals fewer battles.
• Teach your child that integrity matters. This experience gives you a chance to model something powerful. When he’s old enough to understand, gently teach him about the importance of telling the truth and following through on promises. Let him see that you didn’t yell or explode, but that you held people accountable with dignity. It shows that boundaries are healthy, and respect has to be mutual.

Another reader found herself in a tough spot when her stepson started bringing food from his biological mom’s house every time he visited. She asked him not to do it anymore, hoping to set a clear boundary, but that decision quickly led to a disagreement.