My Ex Was Tracking My Every Move Without Me Knowing

In today’s world, technology has woven itself into our everyday lives, helping us stay connected, navigate unfamiliar places, and safeguard our belongings. However, when these same tools are misused, they can quickly become instruments of surveillance, invading the privacy they were once intended to protect. Recently, Bright Side received a letter from a reader who discovered just how dangerous these tools can be in the wrong hands.

She shared her story.

Dear Bright Side,

My phone battery has been draining really fast lately. This is unusual since I haven’t installed any new apps and I always turn off Bluetooth and Wi-Fi when I’m not using them. I figured it was just a glitch from some recent software updates, so I didn’t think much of it—until last night.

I was out with friends when my phone suddenly buzzed with a notification saying that my location was being tracked. At first, I thought it might have been some app I forgot about. But when I checked, there was nothing unusual on my phone. That’s when I realized that something else was tracking me.

Without saying a word, I left my friends and rushed home. In a panic, I went through my stuff
and was shocked to find a GPS tracker hidden inside my backpack. It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around what I had just found. Then, it hit me—this had to be my ex.

Still in shock, I was startled by a knock on my door. My heart sank when I saw him standing there.

We had a very intense relationship that ended a few months ago, and he was always the type to be overly “concerned” about where I was and who I was with. Without hesitation, I confronted him, and he didn’t even try to deny it. His response was chilling: “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” Safe? That sounds more like stalking to me, not caring.

Now I’m left feeling completely unsettled. The thought that someone could be secretly tracking me is terrifying. I’m definitely getting rid of the tracker, but this entire experience has left me feeling exposed and vulnerable.

Thank you for sharing such a personal and distressing story with us. Here are five key pieces of advice to help you navigate this unsettling situation:

Secure your devices and living space.

Start by taking immediate steps to secure both your devices and your home. Have a professional check your phone for any spyware or malicious apps that could have been installed without your knowledge. Change your passwords for all major accounts—email, social media, banking—and make sure they’re long, complex, and unique. It may also be helpful to install security cameras or a smart doorbell to monitor activity around your home. These steps will help you take back control and ensure your privacy is protected.

Involve the authorities.

What your ex has done goes beyond just an invasion of privacy—it’s a serious violation. It’s crucial to report the GPS tracker and the encounter to the police, keeping detailed records of everything, including the tracker itself, his admission of guilt, and any previous instances of controlling or threatening behavior. You should also consider seeking a restraining order to prevent him from contacting you or coming near you. This isn’t just about ensuring your safety—it’s about establishing a clear legal boundary to stop his behavior. The law is there to protect you, so make sure you use it.

Lean on your support network.

Dealing with a situation like this can make you feel very alone, but you don’t have to face it on your own. Reach out to family and friends you trust for support. They can offer comfort, check in on you, or even just listen. Sharing what happened with those around you can help create a safety net and make you feel less isolated. Don’t hesitate to inform your neighbors or workplace as well, so they’re aware of any potential dangers. Everyone’s safety is a community effort.

Seek emotional support and therapy.

Experiences like this can have lasting emotional effects, even if you think you’re handling things well. It’s worth considering talking to a therapist to help you process the feelings of fear, betrayal, and unease you’re experiencing. Therapy can also provide a space to address any lingering effects from the “intense” relationship you described and how that may have shaped your current boundaries. Healing emotionally is just as important as addressing the immediate physical danger.

Set firm boundaries with your ex.

If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, make it clear to your ex that his behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Try to avoid in-person confrontation and communicate with him via text or email, where you can keep a record of your conversation. Let him know that if he attempts to contact you or continues his invasive behavior, you will pursue legal action. The goal is to establish a clear and non-negotiable boundary, without engaging in a back-and-forth argument. If necessary, involve a lawyer to handle future communication.

In a similar vein, another reader recently reached out, sharing her experience of confronting her husband’s disturbing behavior. She explained that she’s living in constant fear due to a series of dangerous pranks he’s played on her. You can read her full letter here.