My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me After I Tried to Propose With My Grandmother’s Ring

Family traditions are passed down through generations, and objects tied to them carry deeper meanings, like a wedding ring passed down by a grandmother. The man in this story decided to give it to his girlfriend, though her reaction wasn’t what he expected.

He is now heartbroken by her reaction

My girlfriend just found the ring I was going to propose to her with—it was my grandmother’s, who passed a few years ago. Since I was a little boy, my grandmother said she was going to give it to me to give to my future wife, and when my mother met my girlfriend, she insisted on sending it to me.

My girlfriend confronted me that she had found it a few weeks ago and tried it on. When I told her the story behind it, she broke up with me and asked me how dare I give her something with someone else’s vows on it. I am heartbroken by this.

People had very different opinions on the matter

• She just wanted a sparkling new ring that you clearly should have paid 10k for instead of, you know, giving her something with sentimental value. The previous vows excuse is a major cop-out. Unknown author / Reddit
• A family heirloom ring is more prestigious than a regular ring, an honor even. Also, you can ask for it back if things turn to poo. jimjamcunningham / Reddit
• Your grandmother has done you a massive favour. Angstweevil / Reddit
• If she does not understand the sentiment behind the ring, then she is most likely not the right girl for you. It may help talking it through with her to understand if that was the only reason she ended the relationship; it seems like a cop-out.
  Maybe she’s afraid of the commitment of marriage, feels it’s too soon, or something. I hope you’re okay; nothing feels worse than a broken heart. brosey / Reddit

• I would be so touched if my boyfriend’s mom sent him a ring with me in mind. Very sweet. You’re lucky you found out now. globes / Reddit
• I’m going to try and remain as respectful as I can. I know you obviously loved this girl and don’t need to hear everyone calling her names that might not apply. This, however, is a sign that she’s selfish. Perhaps she’s selfish in that she desired an expensive ring, or that she saw this move as “cheap”. But most importantly, it shows that she’s selfish because she’s not willing to share in your family heritage.
  I own my great-grandmother’s ring. She grew up poor and married poor. The diamond is small, and the ring is very simple. Some girls have told me that the idea of using a hand-me-down ring is cheap. I immediately write them off.
  If they cannot appreciate how much it means to me that of 4 generations in my family, I am the one that gets to carry on that ring, and that she is the one that gets to join in on that heritage by wearing it, then “that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.” TheLateThagSimmons / Reddit
• Wow. Uh... I guess she’s entitled to her opinion, and I’ve always thought that a man/man’s family ought to give the woman the choice of inheriting the ring or not (note that I am a female, and I think it’s a wonderful tradition, but on the other hand I know my grandparents had what I’d consider horribly ugly wedding rings) — but that was pretty much the rudest way to go about dealing with the issue, and although you might not feel like it right now, I gotta say I agree with the others here saying you dodged a bullet. Unknown author / Reddit

• In my family and my friends’ families, it’s quite common to pass a grandmother’s/great-grandmother’s wedding or engagement ring down through the family. My brother got my grandmother’s engagement ring (although it should have gone to me, but I digress) and he plans on giving it to one of his boys when they grow up. I’ve always found it to be a beautiful sentiment.
  Rambis / Reddit
• The ring is not the point. She did not want to marry you. She found the ring and decided she didn’t like it, and talked to her friends about it. They parroted her anger. (If she had found the ring, loved it, and told her friends, they probably would’ve agreed with that, too.)
  She may have convinced herself that she broke up with you over the ring, but that doesn’t mean you need to believe it, too. yellowstuff / Reddit

Rings often carry stories, and the significance behind them sometimes surpasses the object itself.