My Husband’s Ex-Wife Says He Needs to Buy Her a House So She Can Live Near Us

Relationships with ex-partners may be tough, especially when you have mutual custody of children. Today’s story is even more complicated as the author has to deal with her husband’s ex. She thinks that the author has to help her and her kids financially. Read the full story below.

«I’ve been married to a man (40 y/o) for two years. He brought two kids into the marriage, and I have one of my own. My husband’s ex-wife, who lives nearby, initially showed some petty behavior but stopped after I confronted her. She’s unemployed and relies on her kids to get more time and money from my husband.

Lately, she’s been unwell and manipulative, using her condition to get sympathy and favors from my husband, including rides and babysitting. She also wants to tag along when we take the kids out, despite having a boyfriend.»

«Recently, she’s been suggesting to my husband that she isn’t well enough to care for her children. Currently, they have shared custody, and her kids are with us every other weekend and during school vacations. She proposed that I sell my house, which I bought before we met, to downgrade and build her a tiny house on our land to provide more support for the kids and her.

I was shocked by this suggestion. I couldn’t understand why I needed to sell my house to accommodate her. I offered to have the kids live with us, but she declined, saying she prefers to stay close to them and doesn’t trust us to raise them.»

«Despite having a boyfriend and nearby family, she insists on receiving care only from us, even claiming my husband made vows to her before me. I feel disrespected and don’t want to sell my house or have a grown woman freeload off me; she should rely on her existing support system.

Some in-laws say I’m selfish and don’t need such a big house anyway. My husband hasn’t expressed any opinion, which is frustrating. I want to stand my ground, but I’m starting to feel guilty because she is sick.»

Users online were surprised by this woman’s behavior. Many expressed support for the author.

• This is extremely weird. Your husband needs to be 100% on your side. He needs to shut this down now. Not you, him. Otherwise, he’s in on it, and you really need to look at this as you vs everyone else problem.
  It’s okay not wanting to help your husband’s ex. Any family member who calls you selfish can step up and take care of her. cthulularoo / Reddit
• I get the husband not wanting to abandon the ex-wife, but if he’s anything like me, then he needs to realize that the ex-wife’s life isn’t his responsibility and the consequences of her actions and behavior are her own to deal with. If he stops helping her, she will get worse, she might find herself in some financial trouble, and it won’t be fun for anyone, but it’s time to move on and let her fix her own life. Most people eventually get better when others stop enabling them. Killarkittens / Reddit
• The ex almost sounds like the mother-in-law. The vows he made to her were voided by the divorce. He is ignoring the fact that he made vows to you. Do not sell your house. Make sure your financials are separate, or you may find that you are supporting her.
  Tell anyone who calls you selfish to step up to the plate. She is not your responsibility but apparently, the divorce did not severe hubby’s feelings for her. content_great_gramma / Reddit

• If she isn’t well enough to care for the children, custody needs to be transferred to your husband. Any other suggestion means she’s lying to manipulate him, or she’s so spiteful she’d rather be neglectful to the children than let him «win.» I’m guessing the real reason is that she doesn’t want to start paying child support to your husband and lose whatever he’s currently paying her.
  You have a husband problem. The idea that you should sell your house and use the money to build a new one for her has my jaw on the floor. What? Why would you do that?
  Your in-laws need to shut their traps about your property. If they want, they can build her a house on their land. Otherwise, they can keep their grubby fingers out of your wallet. If your husband doesn’t put a stop to this nonsense, you will have to decide if staying with him is worth the aggravation and disrespect. MeanestGoose / Reddit

Do you agree with the commenters? One of our readers also faced a tough situation when his current girlfriend didn’t approve of his friendship with his ex-wife. Know what we have advised to solve this.