I Refuse to Let My Husband Keep His Hobby Because He Wastes Money on It

Money issues are one of the most common sources of stress in relationships, even in otherwise healthy ones. Differences in spending habits, priorities, or communication styles can slowly create tension, especially when one partner feels left out of important financial decisions. Left unspoken, these issues can quietly chip away at the partnership.

Shared finances strain.

So, me and my husband have been married for three years, and from the start we’ve always had a shared bank account and combined finances. We agreed early on that we’d trust each other and talk before making big purchases. For the most part, that’s how it’s been... until recently.

Last straw.

But lately, he’s gotten obsessed with antique restoration. He spends most of his salary on this hobby, like a high-end vase I found on our counter one day. All without ever checking with me. I’ve brought it up a few times, asking him to just talk to me before spending that kind of money, but he always brushes it off.
Once, he bought a particularly expensive vase. I told him to sell it, but he refused, so I decided to make a point, without telling him, I, listed the vase on an online selling site and sold it.

Dispute over shared finances.

When he noticed it was gone, I told him the truth, that I wanted him to see how it feels when someone makes decisions behind your back. He got furious. Said I crossed a line by selling something he bought with his money. But we’ve always treated our income as shared, and he never asked me before buying it either.

Now he’s barely talking to me. So yeah... am I in the wrong here?

Thank you for reaching to us! We tried to gather some piece of advice, hope it helps!

• Don’t apologize for needing partnership — You’re not being controlling. You’re trying to make financial decisions together, which is what joint finances require. That’s not asking too much. There is no need to apologize for being persistent.
• Keep future goals in view — Hobbies are fine, but they need a cap, especially when they start eating into money that could go toward savings, emergencies, or future plans you both care about. You need to know if this is a phase or a lifestyle. When you know your purpose, what you stand for and are trying to achieve above and beyond specific goals, it is much easier to have a future focus.
• Don’t weaponize trust, but don’t ignore patterns — If this keeps happening after the conversation, that’s not a misunderstanding, it’s disrespect. And that’s a bigger deal than a vase. Healthy relationships can survive a mistake or two. But if he keeps making the same choice knowing how it affects you, that’s a signal, not a slip. Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people.

The good news is, financial issues can be worked through with honest conversations and mutual respect. When both partners feel heard and involved, it actually strengthens the relationship, not just the budget.