My MIL Calls Me a Bad Mom for Refusing to Quit My Job

Imagine a mom who works outside the home telling us how her mother-in-law doesn’t like it and calls her a «bad mom» for not staying home. Even though she loves her family and her job, she feels upset because some people still think moms should only stay home. She wants to share her story to show how many women face this pressure and why it’s important to support all moms, no matter if they work or stay at home.

What happened.

«I(31F) am a manager for cybersecurity engineering for a big tech company. My husband is an internal medicine specialist. I make over 200k a year, and he recently started making his full salary around 400k.

We had our first child around 2 years ago, and I’m pregnant with our second. My family is pretty open-minded about it, but my husband’s family are old-fashioned and there is a consensus from them that women who are married with children shouldn’t be working.»

«So I’ve been getting „hints“ from them that I should be a stay at home mom and leave the money making to my husband. I don’t want to leave my job and my company is relatively understanding. I got 6 months off (3 months with full pay and 3 months without) for my first child and was able to keep my current position. The male members of my team are also able to take paternity leave.

So I don’t see why I have to leave my job. I also paid most of the bills while my husband wasn’t making much as a resident.»

«My husband and I outsource all our cleaning, grocery delivery, lawn maintenance, etc., so all we do is cook. So almost all our time at home is spending time together as a family. But my MIL has commented how it’s not right I outsource these things because a mother shows her love by cleaning after her kids and husband.

My MIL recently came over and while eating dinner she said the food was great and complemented me and I said my husband made the food. She was shocked and said it wasn’t right that my husband has to do any work after his long shift. I got annoyed and said that I was working longer than him today, and she said well then you should quit so you don’t need to.

I got mad and told her it’s ridiculous to expect me to quit just because she has old-fashioned ideas that women need to be on their knees scrubbing away. My MIL was offended, but my husband told her it’s already be settled, and I’m going to still be working. But everyone always telling me I’m a bad mom if I don’t quit my job has me worn down.»

People on the Internet supported the working mom.

• «Girl, go get that money. Some women like working, let them work. Maybe consider both sides. In a few years will you regret not staying home with your kids who are now older, or will you regret having quit your job giving into the pressures around you? Do what you wanna do!» Chemical-Froyo-6286 / Reddit
• «It’s not only about the money. You spent the entirety of your adult life studying and building a career, and they just expect you to give it all up for what? To do something you don’t enjoy and that you can outsource for a fraction of the income you get from doing the stuff that you do like. Ridiculous.» Helpful_Hour1984 / Reddit

• «The only ones who should be commenting on your personal business is you and your husband. You don’t owe anyone else any explanation or apologies for how you live your lives. You don’t owe them any accounting of your finances, either. It’s none of their business, regardless of being related to you.» LoveBeach8 / Reddit
• «Is your husband a bad dad for not being a stay at home dad? Uh, no, because it’s not socially expected of him even though he could easily stay at home just as well as you could. All he’d have to do is give up his job, his identity, his passion, and his sense of independence. Okay, maybe he’d have some of that, but clearly it’s a lot to ask. To be a good mom you need to be a happy, fulfilled person. It sounds like you are.» corgihuntress / Reddit

Some think being a stay-at-home mom is easy, but it’s actually really tough. It’s not just about cleaning, cooking, budgeting, and taking care of the kids. Even though these jobs are important, stay-at-home moms often don’t get the respect they deserve. One mom bravely shared her story to show how challenging it can be and how people don’t always appreciate what stay-at-home moms do.