I am sorry but your kids aren't related to your not-yet-MIL. If you got married, then you, your husband and your kids become a family. But kids still aren't related to MIL. You can't assume their acceptance your kids as family even before you got married. You are a mother of two, while your fiancee doesn't have any kid. I guess it also contribute to this problem. Families can behave differently in such situations. Some accept kids as their family even if there is no blood relation. Some don't. You have to learn how to deal with it. If you can't, then don't marry.
My MIL Purposely Excluded My Kids From Her Family Photo Album
Creating a blended family isn’t just about the couple and their kids coming together—it requires acceptance and effort from the entire extended family. Unfortunately, as this story shows, things don’t always go as smoothly as hoped. The protagonist’s mother-in-law’s actions raised questions, but there was more behind her choices than met the eye.
The whole story
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People’s views are sharply divided.
- DON’T MARRY THIS MAN. Their behavior now won’t change once you’re married. Nothing will be different. Your girls will be excluded like this by his family forever. Ioloannd / Reddit
- If the girls are “the light of his life” he wouldn’t let his family treat them this way and would have nipped it in the bud the first time they were excluded with gifts. Everyone can spend their money as they see fit, but for someone that should be treating them as grandchildren should be more fair. Or else she doesn’t get to be in their lives. If they get married, guaranteed she regrets it, unless he has an epiphany before the wedding. Unknown author / Reddit
- Your fiancé will NOT have your back, and the treatment your daughters are getting now will only continue. I was in your daughters’ shoes when I was a kid and my dad was getting remarried, and thankfully we were accepted into the family events, photos, etc. by the time my dad was engaged to my stepmom. Key-Tensio / Reddit
- The real issue here is your fiancé’s lack of a spine to stand up to his mother. That will probably never change, so you’re walking into this coming marriage with your eyes wide open: If you marry this man, this will be your constant reality. Your daughters will continue to get ignored, and you will be pushed out of events. Unknown author / Reddit
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Please, do not marry this man, you will be walking into a family that will never include your beautiful, innocent daughters as family and they deserve better. This man will never stand up for you and you must have other signs about this.You are the girls mother and your job is to protect them and love them, you are young and you will have time to be happy and to live your life.
- Your priority is your daughters, and it is your obligation as their mother to stand by and up for them and protect them from anybody who is hurting them, physically or emotionally. It’s exceptionally cruel to exclude children so young from gifts, trips, etc. Your fiancé needs to speak to his mother because it’s unfair to subject you and your children to that treatment the rest of your lives. You’re either family or not. shorething99 / Reddit
- I strongly suggest going no-contact with your in-laws until there is a promise of better behavior and an apology. What a cruel and entirely unnecessary thing to do to you and your young children.
This woman has not been “forgetting” your girls, she’s been deliberately excluding them. It’s completely enraging. Your fiancé needs to step up and draw some really hard lines with his mother, and it needs to happen BEFORE the wedding. Trick_Doughnut_6295 / Reddit - I’m probably going to get downvoted for this, but familial bonds don’t just magically appear, and she’s not obligated to spend money on your children. Purposely excluding them from the picture book is kinda bad when you were included as well. If you really marry into the family, she’s gotta learn at some point that your children will be part of the family as well, and your fiancé should absolutely make it clear to her now before you get married. KoishiChan92 / Reddit
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Please be careful, if you marry this man and have his child you will see and so will the girls that the baby will be included while they are not.
I was in a blended family and it was lovely they took me and my sister in and treated us the same .
But to be left out and see your apparently forgotten isnt right.
The in-laws should be making more of an effort to include your girls , if your fiance loves you and them .
I'm also a blended family I treat his children the same, I would mine .
Same for him he has been there for my children more then their biological dad.
I would have a stronger talk with him as if my partners family ever snubbed my children .
the ultimatum would be sort it or he would be gone before I say I do.
- To be honest, I kinda get her point. Have you given her a chance to bond with them? I don’t have kids myself, but I understand that you’re upset that your kids are excluded... But they have their own grandparents to include them in everything and spoil them...
I wouldn’t expect their step-grandparents to include them in everything they include their grandkids. I think it’s more important how your fiancé treats them, do you think he would treat them differently than any bio kids you might have? benerises19 / Reddit - I am surprised by the comments on this post. I am a stepdaughter. My dad started living with his now-wife when I was 10. Married her when I was 12.
I certainly didn’t think my stepmother’s mom was my grandmother before they were married. I didn’t even consider my stepmother to be my stepmother before they were married. And I liked her just fine. But she was my dad’s girlfriend. That was it.
Her mom was my dad’s girlfriend’s mom. Not getting them cards or gifts for Christmas is not good. Every kid who is at one of my family’s gatherings gets at least a gift card. Even if it’s a neighbor’s exchange student. melodypowers / Reddit - First, your expectations are rather high. Specifically, you are an “in-law” until the law is involved, and no law is involved until the marriage is official. Expecting your relation to be considered by the extended family as fully cemented is a little, and I stress little because this is a time to be building those commitments, out of sorts.
Second, the photo album is your mother-in-law’s photo album, and she can put whatever photos in it that she wants. Making a dramatic exit probably did more harm than good, and may have even created a rift that could last for years. Should have put the book down and told your children something like, “Oh, we had to reprint our photos. They got damaged.” Then taken this to your fiancé and made it clear that if your kids aren’t accepted as his children by his family, the relationship has big problems. j***droid2018 / Reddit
Family photo albums are more than just a way to collect memories—they’re a nostalgic trip and a source of fun, filled with treasured moments and gems from the past.
Comments
Photo album. She's allowed to have who she wants in her own photo album. Not including children in Christmas. That's where you should be concerned about the kind of family you're marrying into. If I suspect a child would be at my house no matter if they are a stranger's children I would get them presents at Christmas
My sister-in-law has two girls by different dads unfortunately the youngest one's dad passed away a few years ago and she married someone with two boys,even though I hardly know the boys I buy them a little something each christmas since they became part of her family it would be mean and horrible for them if they were left out
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