My Parents Are Secretly Passing on Hereditary Illness, but They Blame Me
In a somewhat shocking turn of events, a woman divulges how her parents hid crucial information about a devastating hereditary illness from her and her siblings. Not only has this resulted in a tragic future for her, but not knowing about it means her child may also end up going down the same painful road. This has, understandably, caused a major rift between her and her parents, and also in the family.
This is her story.
I (28F) recently found out I have a serious hereditary illness that’s going to badly affect my life, and I am so mad. It’s a degenerative illness, no cure, nothing. My body’s will slowly get worse. And the kicker? My parents have known this could happen my whole life and never said a word.
This illness runs in my family. My dad’s mom had it. His sister—my aunt—died from it a few years ago. I was living overseas when she passed, and my parents told me it was cancer. They lied right to my face.
It wasn’t until I got diagnosed that they finally came clean and admitted she had the same illness I do. When I confronted them, my dad wouldn’t even give me a straight answer. I asked if he had it too, and he dodged every single question, acting like I was overreacting.
My mom tried to justify it by saying they didn’t want me “living in fear.”
What makes it so much worse is that I have a 2-year-old son. My child might have this, and they never told me I was at risk. I could’ve had him tested, made informed decisions, anything. But no, they took that from me, and now I live in constant fear for him too.
My mom had the nerve to ask me if I would have rather not been born than deal with this. And you know what? Yes, I said it. Yes, I would rather not have been born than deal with this disease.
They made a selfish choice, and now I’m paying for it. They knew the risks and did it anyway, for themselves. They wanted kids, and now I’m stuck with this. I called them selfish, and I meant every word.
They’re begging me not to tell my younger siblings. They don’t know about this yet, haven’t been tested, and my parents want to keep it that way. They’re hoping they’ll get lucky, but I’m not going to lie to them. I refuse to let them be blindsided like I was. They deserve to know the truth.
I’ve gone low contact with my parents. My mom keeps trying to guilt-trip me, saying they were “just trying to protect me.” Protect me from what? The truth? No, they weren’t protecting me. They were protecting themselves, from the guilt of knowing they passed this on, and now they want me to protect them too.
But I won’t. I love my son and my siblings too much to lie to them.
She also had an update.
Most of you figured it out anyway. It is Huntington's.
I ended up telling my siblings. We met at my sister’s house, and I just came out with it: “I have Huntington's. It’s hereditary. You should both get checked.” My brother started panicking, he and his fiancée just started trying to get pregnant, and now he’s terrified. He’s furious with our parents and fully on my side. He confronted them right after, and now we’re both going low contact.
My sister was more shocked and distant, but she said she’ll get tested. My parents are angry that I told them without waiting for “the right time,” but I don’t regret it. My siblings deserved the truth, and I wasn’t going to let them live in ignorance like I did.
People stood firmly behind her POV.
- "Not telling your kids about Huntington's of all things is psychotic, wow. Unforgivable." axiomofcope / Reddit
- "Not telling you and your siblings of the possibility is horrible in itself. Then they doubled down and lied and told you that your aunt died from cancer. They removed all proactive choice regarding this illness." AwayBid9705 / Reddit
- "I would have gone nuclear on my parents and sued them for every penny they have. They literally signed a death warrant for you and your kid and lied about it." Mother_Search3350 / Reddit
- "You have every right to feel angry at your parents for withholding this important medical information from you and not letting you prepare yourself physically and mentally." FormalRaccoon637 / Reddit
- "Your parents are killers. Point that out to them. They chose to have kids, knowing they have something they can pass on that will kill their children and grandchildren." Knickers1978 / Reddit
- "Oh! I wish I could give you a hug right now. Your parent’s decision to hide this from you is beyond selfish. You have a right to know." Jazzlike-Bird-3192 / Reddit
- "Huntington's? I'm so, so sorry. This was a huge betrayal." SignificanceKey8545 / Reddit
Clearly, the parents' decision to hide the genetic information from their children has led to severe repercussions for both the Redditor and her siblings. Not only that, she fears of having passed on this disease to her child, and it's enough to give any parent nightmares. As parents, it is our responsibility to give children the best chance of life, and sadly, this did not happen here. Then again, here are some even more shocking stories of familial conflict.