My Parents Excluded Me from Their Will — My Mom’s Reason Was Disgusting

Inheritance disputes can reveal deep family tensions that often go unspoken. Lena wrote to us to share her story about feeling overlooked and unheard in her own family.

Here’s the letter from Lena:

Hi Bright Side!

Recently, I found my parents’ inheritance papers while helping Dad with something at their place. I wasn’t even looking for them; they just showed up in a drawer. Everything was left to my brother. I’m not someone who usually cares about that stuff, but I was already fed up. It wasn’t just the money. It was years of feeling like he always came first. He was praised for doing the bare minimum, while I never got credit for anything I did.

I called my mom. “Is this how you see me? Am I less than him because he’s a man?” She didn’t get defensive. Just calmly said, “No, sweetie. It’s because you have a husband. Your brother needs to take care of his wife. And you? You have someone to take care of you.”

That made me even angrier. Sure, I’m married, but my husband and I split everything. We both work hard. I’ve been financially independent since college. I’ve covered it all myself, whether it was rent, bills, or unexpected emergencies. I even helped them out when they needed it. But none of that counted.

I’ve been getting calls from my aunt lately. Obviously, my mom has been talking about how “inhuman” I’m being for cutting them off. She tried to make me feel guilty, but honestly, I’ve heard enough of that.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m overreacting, but deep down, I know this isn’t fair. This isn’t about the house or the money; all my life, I just wanted them to notice me, even once. And don’t get me started on that whole “a man should take care of you” nonsense.

Sincerely,
Lena

Hello, Lena! First of all, thank you for reaching out. Sometimes, the most important step to get through the drama is speaking up.

Remember, your worth isn’t defined by what others give you; it’s in how you honor yourself every day.

Sometimes family disappoints, but your value is something only you can decide. No one in the world should be able to make you question your worth.

It’s okay to set boundaries, even with those closest to you.

Protecting your peace doesn’t make you cold; it makes you wise. Love yourself enough to step back when you’re not treated fairly.

Don’t let outdated ideas about who should care for you shape your life or your happiness.

It’s not that they want to hurt you. When people are raised with certain beliefs, it’s hard for them to see beyond that perspective. You can try explaining this to them if you think it might help, either you or them.

Give yourself space to feel whatever comes up

There’s no rush to figure it all out. Anger, sadness, and confusion are like rough waves shaping the shore of your understanding. Let them wash over you; they’re helping you carve out your own truth. This isn’t just about what’s happening now; it’s rooted deep in your childhood, so be gentle with yourself as you take your time healing.

And, please, don’t forget — they’re living this life for the first time too

Just like you, they’re figuring things out as they go, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. Sometimes people get stuck in old habits or beliefs because it’s all they know. That doesn’t make their actions right, but it can help to remember we’re all learning, some of us just take longer to grow.

The thought of losing a beloved father and grandfather is profoundly distressing, and coping with such news is a challenge for many. Yet, one man was troubled to discover that, rather than showing concern, his children immediately started arguing over the inheritance once they heard about his condition. He decided to open up about his experience.