My Sister-in-Law Secretly Performed a DNA Test on My Toddler

Family is meant to stand by each other through thick and thin, but sometimes a toxic member attempts to break that unity. This was the situation for a Reddit user who posted his experience, explaining how his sister-in-law tried to reveal what she believed to be a hidden family truth. However, her plan to create chaos failed, and her actions had the opposite effect.

He wrote:

"I am a 30-year-old man, and I have a 6-year-old daughter. I am not biologically related to her; there is no blood relation between us. I had been friends with her mother for most of my childhood. We were never romantically involved and remained just friends. She had her daughter at 23 with her 25-year-old husband. When she was still a newborn, they both passed away in an accident. After their tragic deaths, I felt responsible for adopting their newborn.

A few weeks ago, during a family dinner, my new SIL spotted an old photo of me with a friend and casually asked who she was. I told her that she was my daughter’s mother. The next day, without my knowledge, she ran a DNA test on my baby and shoved the results in my face. It turned out my brother hadn’t told her the story of my daughter Lily being adopted. To clarify, she knew my friend had passed away, but I guess she didn’t know my friend had been married or that Lily wasn’t my biological daughter. She must have assumed Lily was my and my friend’s biological child.

For context, my parents and siblings are aware that my daughter is not biologically mine. Lily, my daughter, also knows she’s adopted. I never hid this from her—she knows her parents are deceased. Lily doesn’t resemble me at all; she looks exactly like her biological mother and father. Most people assume I’m her biological dad and that she just takes after her mom, but I don’t usually correct them since it seems unnecessary.

Confronting me with the DNA test results, my SIL claimed that I was ’raising a dead woman’s affair baby.’ She said this in front of my daughter and family. I stared at her for a moment, then burst out laughing.

I told her I was fully aware Lily wasn’t my biological daughter and that it was called adoption. Her face turned red, and she stormed off. Now, my brother is upset, claiming I embarrassed his fiancée. But I think she embarrassed herself by testing a child who isn’t hers and then flaunting the results.

What did she expect me to do? Break down and abandon my daughter? My brother says she thought she was doing the right thing, and he thinks I’m in the wrong. I don’t feel that way, though, especially since my SIL crossed a serious boundary."

Other Reddit users chimed in with their opinions on the matter, leaving comments such as:

• Laws need to catch up with this type of thing. No one should ever be able to test another person’s DNA without their consent, especially not a child without parental knowledge and consent. She took something very personal from your daughter that she has no right to.
  I also have a hard time believing that in two years the fact that your daughter was adopted never came up in conversation between brother and SIL. If my husband had a sibling who was a single parent I’d be curious and ask what had happened to the other parent, allowing him to explain the situation. © peakeasy12345 / Reddit

• She tried to embarrass you with the shocking news your daughter isn’t your daughter, and it backfired spectacularly. Even if you hadn’t adopted your daughter it’s not her place to do any sort of testing on your daughter. She made herself look like the village idiot. © pigandpom / Reddit

• What if Lily hadn’t known she was adopted? What if Lily had been conceived with a sperm donor? There are so many reasons that this was none of that woman’s business, and she stuck her nose into it in the worst way possible by waving the results around in front of people.
  She could have talked to her fiancé first but must not have because you say your parents and siblings know she’s adopted. Instead of your brother being mad at you, he should be pissed at his fiancée. This would also ruin all credibility that woman has with me for anything. Anytime she brings something up, I would from now forward think she’s just making up stories. © Spinnerofyarn / Reddit

• What was the game plan here? What did she want you to do? Abandon the child you raised? And if so, to whom? It’s not like there is some kind of place where you can return illegitimate children if you don’t want them anymore. Keep raising the child but feel terrible about it? There is no way this would help anyone in this situation. It’s just pure terrible. © Square-Singer / Reddit

• She didn’t even think to just ask your brother about the situation. One question, and he’d have explained the kid is adopted. Doesn’t your brother realize that this shows her character?
  She’s spiteful and believes the worst in people easily, and doesn’t trust him or respect him. She doesn’t respect his family. She doesn’t treat children kindly. She’s self-absorbed and doesn’t think about the consequences of her actions.
  You could sue her for it. Stealing someone else’s chair for a DNA test seems like something protected by law. © believehype1616 / Reddit

In this case, a DNA test wasn’t needed at all since the entire family—apart from the curious sister-in-law—already knew the little girl’s history. However, in other situations, a DNA test can reveal deeply buried secrets, as it did for these twin brothers.