Raising kids is a huge responsibility and should be a well-thought-out decision. However, life doesn’t always go as planned, which is what happened to a woman on Reddit. She divorced her husband after unexpected kids came into their lives and changed everything.
From a young age, I was sure that having or raising kids wasn't for me. When I met my husband in college, we bonded over the fact that we both wanted a child-free life. We married a couple of years ago and are fully aligned on this.
But life had other plans. My husband's younger sister has three kids—a 5-year-old and 2-year-old twins—with different absent fathers. Two months ago, she left them with us, saying she'd run a quick errand, but she never came back. She vanished. We filed a report, and the last we heard, she was safe but had no plans to return. Now, we're stuck with the responsibility she left behind.
My husband's mom is barely getting by on minimum wage, and after raising her own kids alone, she's not in a position to take on the responsibility of raising her grandkids.
On the other hand, I’m not interested in raising them. Don’t get me wrong—I do feel sorry for these kids, but taking on the responsibility of raising children is a massive commitment, and it’s just not something I’m prepared to handle.
Since they’ve been with us for the last two months, our expenses have gone up. We’ve had to buy them clothes and essentials, and they’re sleeping in our living room on air mattresses because we only have one bedroom. I’ve been working from home while looking after them since daycare for three kids is extremely expensive. It’s been incredibly stressful and overwhelming.
CPS stepped in and asked us if we wanted to take on raising the kids. My answer was no. I thought my husband would agree, but to my surprise, he wanted to keep the kids. CPS has pushed us to decide quickly and said that we needed to make necessary changes, like getting a bigger house, to accommodate them.
One way would be for both of you to provide financial support to your husband's mother so that she can take care of the children. You can take and relieve her by taking them on different things on the weekends so she gets some alone time. Then your sister-in-law needs to pay for her children financial maintenance, in that case to your mother-in-law.
My husband and I have been arguing nonstop about this situation. I’ve made it clear that I just can’t see myself living the next 16 years like this. Raising kids is no joke—it’s challenging and expensive. But my husband is determined to step up for his family, which I can understand.
Yesterday, I told him I wanted a divorce. I needed to do it quickly before he made any commitments that would drag me along with him. He got offended that I divorced him over the kids and abandoned him when he needed me.
But I reminded him that he knew my boundaries from the start. This kind of commitment is not something he can just decide on his own without considering what we both agreed to from the beginning.
It’s clear both are struggling with this situation. The husband never expected his sister to disappear, leaving him to care for her kids. He feels obligated to step up for his nephews and niece, while his wife, who never wanted kids, has to raise them as well.
Which side are you on? Raising kids is a major responsibility, and finding reliable help can be tough. Many parents rely on trusted family members or friends. One online story highlighted this when a woman had to step in for a last-minute babysitting request from her sister.
