15 New Mothers Who Have to Deal With Childish Comments From Grown-Ups
Enlarging the family and having a baby is not an easy task. Beyond the happiness of having a child and all the beautiful things that come with motherhood, the first few months postpartum are often complicated and tiring. Especially when some people, instead of being understanding and supportive, become too opinionated and make snarky remarks. The following stories reflect the reality that bringing a child into the world entails.
- An actor I love came to a store near me for a signing. So my almost 4-month-old baby and I went and waited in line outside. As soon as I arrived, some women gave me a dirty look, and one yelled, “It’s too hot for a baby!” I was so embarrassed I almost left.
But instead, I told her to mind her business. Mind you, my daughter was in light-weight clothing, and had a bunch of shade and a cold bottle. More people arrived after me and raved about how happy and chill my baby was. And my favorite actor called her PERFECT. © hunnybun16 / Reddit
- My country was having elections, and it was my turn to vote. When I arrived at the place, there was a 980-ft-long line, and it was very hot. I asked the security officer at the entrance if I could pass since I was with my 4-month-old baby. He told me, “no,” and that priority was only for the elderly and pregnant women. As if I could leave my baby (at the time I was breastfeeding), or as if I could stand in line for 3 hours in the 104 °F heat in the sun. I could not vote.
- Once, in the grocery store, an old man criticized me for the way “I turned my stroller around too quickly.” Another questioned the built-in sunshade flap on my structured carrier, thinking it was some kind of a suffocation risk. © castlesofsunflowers / Reddit
- It had only been a week since my baby was born. My mother-in-law and her sister came to our house to meet the baby, and the moment I opened the door, their first comment was, “Oh, you still have a belly! I remember that as soon as I gave birth, I was already skinny.” At the time, I just smiled, but my hormones were about to jump at them.
- I’m one month postpartum, and that’s enough time to start heavily working out again. My husband’s family asks all the time how much weight I’ve lost and what my “goal weight” is.
I’m not worried about it. I had major surgery to be able to have my daughter, I’m not rushing my body! I have no intent to ever return to my weight before. No, my body doesn’t look how it used to, but it also didn’t grow a whole human before either. © nascarissist / Reddit
- No one has the right to have an opinion about other people’s bodies. I gained like 53 lbs during my pregnancy. I am still 30 lbs above what I was pre-pregnancy, but I’m just enjoying food. Period.
Another thing that helped tremendously was just putting away my old clothes and buying new ones that fit well for the size I am right now. You made a person with your body, go you, you’re amazing! © IoneIndigo / Reddit
- My husband took my newborn to one of his follow-up appointments alone, and I stayed home with our two other children. The nurse that helped him assumed he was a single parent and praised him for “doing it on his own.”
Due to my husband’s work schedule, I went to almost every OB appointment on my own when I was pregnant. Never once have I been praised for it or asked if I’m a single parent because it’s just an expected task for a mother. My husband quickly corrected her, but are medical professionals actually surprised that fathers are attending doctor’s appointments? © Curiositythrowaway05 / Reddit
- At the company where my boyfriend works, if you have children, and you have a daycare or babysitter expense, the company reimburses you a portion of the money. But that’s only if the employee is a WOMAN. It’s not for male employees. Why do we live in a society where it is assumed that the responsibility of care and upbringing always falls on the woman?
- My husband and I were on a flight with our 12-week-old son. We were traveling for a family wedding, so my mother-in-law was also on the flight with us. A flight attendant came over to tell me how great my husband was for changing the baby’s diaper and shaded me saying, “I don’t know, maybe you were resting...”
Firstly, I’m a human entitled to rest. But I didn’t think it was necessary for the two of us to cram into an airplane bathroom to change one pee diaper. If I had changed the diaper, there would have been zero praise.
Or the fact that I was the one to have him in my lap for 5.5 hours in a cramped airplane seat, feed him, pump, entertain him, pack the baby’s things, and keep him quiet the whole time. But I’m not a man, so it’s not worthy of praise. My mother-in-law came by to our seats, and the flight attendant again gushed to her about how great a man my husband was for changing his own son’s diaper. © Ghostfacefza / Reddit
- I don’t breastfeed. And I don’t need to explain why. Normalize accepting that some women don’t breastfeed without needing an explanation. Normalize NOT asking a woman if she breastfeeds. It’s none of your business.
I can’t tell you how many times I felt the need to say what happened that led to not breastfeeding, worried about judgment that I gave up too soon, or heard unsolicited opinions. © elforte22 / Reddit
- Because of everything I read during the pregnancy, I decided to breastfeed. Or at least try to. It hurt so much at first that I cried from the pain every time I had to feed my baby. Everyone kept telling me that I had to keep going, and even though I was in so much pain, the pressure was too much.
I managed to recover, and we have been breastfeeding for almost a year and a half now. But I really wish at the time I wouldn’t have felt so judged if I had chosen to formula feed my son.
- I wasn’t able to breastfeed. It’s that simple, but yet, people always cut in with, “I’m SO sorry! What happened? Is it you? Or is it baby?” None of that matters. What matters is I have a 3-month-old baby boy who is built like a 6-month-old baby!
I had a family member not too long ago try and push me to try breastfeeding again. She went on about how amazing breastfeeding is for bonding. Like I’m not bonding with my baby because I don’t breastfeed him! © sad_cabbagez / Reddit
- When our baby was born, my boyfriend and I had time off and stayed at home together for a bit. Now my boyfriend has gone back to work. One day, I wanted to grab a coffee with a friend, so he stayed at home all day alone with the baby. He texted me and said it was really easy, and he wasn’t sure why I struggled.
But I know why. Because I came home to loads of dishes to wash, laundry that hadn’t been taken out of the washing machine, there were toys EVERYWHERE, the baby had been in the sling while he was gaming part of the day, and then he just held the baby and watched movies in bed. Yes, it’s easy because you DIDN’T DO ANYTHING ELSE! At least they had daddy-and-daughter time. © SnooRobots6058 / Reddit
- My husband works from home, so he sees the work I do. The other day, after I had scooped banana out of my daughter’s ears, battled with her in the bath whilst she screamed, pumped milk whilst drying her off and singing to her, dressed her whilst she rolled out of my arms several times, rocked her to sleep for ten minutes, and then made a quick tea and drank that whilst putting all her toys away before she woke up again in 30 minutes; he just came to me and said, “You really are doing an amazing job, you work so hard.”
It was SO validating. I totally respect him for smashing his job every day. Also, chores are shared responsibility in this house. My job is to keep our baby alive whilst he works; anything else is joint, including baby care when he’s not at work. © Safe_Estimate_1014 / Reddit
- I left to go to the grocery store and got a text from my partner asking me how long I was going to be. Then I got a call because the baby was crying. Sir, did you run through the list of reasons the baby could be crying? Of course, as soon as I got home, I immediately found the problem. © FractiousPhoebe / Reddit
The first time you became a mother, did anyone make you feel bad about any decisions you made concerning the baby or your body?
Please note: This article was updated in December 2022 to correct source material and factual inaccuracies.
Preview photo credit SnooRobots6058 / Reddit
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