13 Single Dads Reveal the Unseen Struggles of Fatherhood

Fatherhood is often celebrated for its joy and connection, but for single dads, the journey comes with unique struggles that are often overlooked. Balancing parenting, work, and personal life, these fathers face challenges that test their resilience. This article explores the unseen battles of single dads, highlighting the emotional toll, societal expectations, and the strength it takes to play both parental roles.

1.

• “I have no clue how to do my daughter’s hair. I’ve had advice from female friends, my female hairdresser, the Internet, but my daughter’s hair permanently looks like she was dragged through a haystack. (Her mom is no longer in the picture, she spends 100% of the time with me).
  I’ve taken her to my hairdresser, she fixed my daughter’s hair so it looked beautiful. I took notes, photos, bought the same equipment and products. Two days later, her hair was a bird’s nest again. I worried at first that people would think I was negligent, now I don’t really care because I know I’m a great dad.” © maxd / Reddit

2.

• “Every time I would come home, my daughter would ask if I brought her anything. All I could think of was to get her a wooden sword. It never occurred to me that she’d want a doll or a dress.” © NeverEnuf*** / Reddit
  

3.

• “It’s just a silently, unspoken bias when it comes to doing things with and for my daughters. Like I’m not supposed to be there. The best example I have is Girl Scouts.
  Now, I’m a registered lifetime member Girl Scout and approved as a helper parent. That means I have gone through the background checks and all that. My daughter’s troop is excellent, they’re all super cool, and we get along great.
  But when I took my daughter to a district wide campout last year, it was a totally different matter. My daughter asked me to go, so I agreed. I was one of two dads, and they stuck us in absolutely the farthest place they could, away from the rest of the campers. It was literally 10–15 minutes walk to my daughter’s campsite. (The tag-along moms slept in the cabins. I didn’t expect that but figured I’d at least camp outside the cabin.)
  The attitude from the rest of the volunteers and leaders was clearly that my presence was being tolerated, but by no means welcome. Despite kicking in and helping in the kitchen making lunch for the campers, virtually nobody acknowledged my presence or even spoke to me all day, which was ok since I was there for my girl but still, no need to vibe me out for trying to be involved.
  Similar experience at birthday parties, etc., where I don’t know the parents beforehand. Usually, it’s moms who take the kids and while I’ve never been made to feel explicitly unwelcome, it’s kind of clear I’m the odd-man out.” © TehFuriousOne / Reddit

4.

• “Your kid’s school will by default list the child’s mother’s contact information in their database, no matter how much of a mess she is. Mom’s going to get all the mailings, email and phone calls unless you get your name added too.” © OxfordBombers / Reddit

5.

• “When people find out I am a single father, they usually assume I am the jerk that caused the divorce of my marriage. It is actually not the case. There is no sympathy from others, the way that single mothers seem to be supported.
  To be clear, most single parents should be given sympathy and support. It is a hard job. ” © Unknown author / Reddit

6.

• “I wish the court took a deeper look at awarding custody. I wanted the kids. She wanted the child support. My ex-wife (mother of my sons) slept with my stepdad. This was the reason for our split, and for years I never told anyone and buried it.
  I lost 6 years with my boys, and they never knew why I left. They are older now, and I have gently explained what happened and started re-building our relationship. For the past 2 years they have been living with me, and I am enjoying it very much.” © halfcast0 / Reddit

7.

• “My daughter lived with me from the time she was 9. Mostly, it was awesome. Her mother and I had been divorced for many years before she moved in with me. I had gotten sober three years before and when she was 9 she asked to live with me, four states and 2000 miles away from her mom. We never had any negative interactions with her school or her friends’ parents, which was pretty great.
  One embarrassing thing that did happen though. One day when she was 11 her best friend’s mom called me and said, ’I don’t mean to intrude, but have you noticed that your daughter has breasts?’ I was kinda shocked and told her no, not really in the habit of looking at my kid’s chest. She suggested that maybe just this once I should.
  When she got home that night, I did. My first thought was, ’Oh, how did I miss those.’ I took her to a really nice store that night to get her fitted for a bra. She was super embarrassed, but handled it with a minimum of fuss, and was happy that we went.” © Blu64 / Reddit

8.

• “Most men’s rooms don’t have baby changing tables. Also, everyone assumes that I’m married and that’s annoying.” © backrightpocket / Reddit

9.

• “My wife left me shortly after our son was born, and I’ve raised him alone ever since. Now he’s 6, and my ex has remarried, but no kids yet. She wants to take our son. ’No way,’ I told her.
  One day, while she was visiting, I heard a scream from my son’s room. I rushed upstairs and froze in shock: I found him standing by his bed with a bruise on his arm. My ex, who had little experience with kids, was just as scared as I was, unsure of how to handle the situation.
  Over time, she’s gotten more involved in our son’s life, and we’ve both worked hard to make sure he’s happy and safe. Our relationship has gotten better because of it.”

10. “When your little girl asks you to do your nails too... there’s only one thing to say:”

11.

• “My daughter just turned 3, but my wife left us over a year ago. I don’t want her to look homeless when we go out, so I try to make her look as nice as I can. But I have such a hard time trying to make her hair look good and put it in a ponytail or pigtails. I wish there was a local class for things like that.” © Unknown author / Reddit

12.

• “I wouldn’t say I endure any hardships, but I do deal with some frustrating situations for sure. Stupid little things like having to specifically ask my son’s school to send me the same notices and info that they send to his mom even though they have all of my info and know we are not together.
  The last parent-teacher conference we had, I had to ask them to actually answer me when I ask the question or voice a concern. My ex is kind of quiet, so I’m the one that does most of the communicating in these meetings, and they would listen to me then literally turn to her with the answer.
  The little comments in public from acquaintances and strangers alike can be frustrating too, such as ’Oh, day out with Dad, huh?’ And ’Giving mom a break today?’ I’ve learned to not let them bother me over the last couple of years, but it used to get under my skin.” © CapeNative / Reddit

13.

• “One of the biggest things I’ve had to deal with is the stigma. Whenever people hear I’m a single dad, they immediately jump to the conclusion that I drove my wife away or caused some break in the marriage. The look of surprise when I tell them I filed because my wife basically abandoned the family gets old real fast.” © Unknown author / Reddit

Single dads face many unseen struggles, but their strength and dedication are undeniable. By shedding light on their challenges, we hope to foster greater appreciation for their resilience. Their commitment to their children is immeasurable, and their efforts deserve recognition and support.