8 Things You Should Be Prepared to Face If You Break Up With a Narcissist
One thing most narcissists have in common is believing that they are better than everyone else. That’s why their 2 strategies that often merge are constantly boosting themselves or putting everyone else down. They will often appear super charming in an effort to be likable to others, but they are this close to start talking bad to them or about them. And when it comes to breakups, they can be truly unpleasant and malicious.
A breakup is never a pleasant thing and Bright Side would like you to be prepared in case you’re breaking up with a narcissist.
1. They will try to make you stay by making you feel guilty.
After all the blaming has begun, a narcissist’s effort is to simply make you feel guilty for your decision to break up with them. They will tell you that you inflicted so much pain on them and were inconsiderate of their feelings and all the nice things they’ve done for you. There is so much name-calling that you start to feel like the scum of the earth. According to them, you’ve been very wrong about them, and you should reconsider your stance.
And on many occasions, people decide to give their relationship another go. It’s not always because they still love their partner, but because they want to prove to them that they are not that awful. But they might continue this narrative even in the relationship and keep you engaged by guilt until they get tired and end it.
2. They will try to throw the blame on you.
When 2 people break up it’s usually because both of them took wrong turns along the way. However, a narcissist will never accept any blame and will toss all of it to their partner who chose to break up with them. They might tell you that you didn’t appreciate all the wonderful things they did for you. You will suddenly become an enemy for them that they will not even speak to.
They won’t hesitate to insult you in the most disgusting of ways in an effort to hurt you as much as you hurt them. Even if you try to apologize and help them get over it, they will refuse to listen to you. They might even convince you that it was all your fault and that you should give the relationship a second chance. But this effort will probably be short-lived, since all the negative aspects of it will start resurfacing.
3. They will make a promise that they will change.
When their manipulating methods fail to get you back, a narcissist will appear as if they’ve understood their mistakes. They will look like a changed person in front of you and promise that they will change their ways. They say that they will get the help they need and do what you say in order to make you happy. And sometimes the other person will believe them and decide to accept them back.
However, it won’t be long until the narcissist goes back to the way they were acting before. Once they feel comfortable that you trust them once again, they will try to control you and be insensitive. Now that they know their plan worked the first time, they will repeat it next time you want to break up with them again.
4. They will demand your attention in any way they can.
They still want to be at the center of your attention so bad that they will accidentally bump into you. They might also happen to pass by your house or the bar that you often go with your friends after work. They might even pretend that they are sick or that something terrible happened to them just to get you on your toes.
Other worrisome behaviors are drunk calls in the middle of the night or even breaking into your home in order to get their stuff. Their ego is so massive that they need to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by their ex-partner.
5. They will shame you in public and create malicious gossip.
Once again, their ego is speaking volumes, and they won’t stop until they ridicule you in front of your loved ones and complete strangers. They might start shaming you in front of a friend or family gathering in order to break you emotionally. To their friends, they present a completely different story than what happened, where they are victims and you are the perpetrator.
They don’t care at all about how much they are hurting you as long as they see you suffering. Not only that, but they might create fake stories and narratives in order to present you as the big villain. Social media could be their vehicle, since they can post any harmful thing they want in order to damage your reputation.
6. They can be extremely brutal and unsympathetic.
When they are the ones that initiate the breakup, it might come as completely unexpected to you because they were extremely loving until just yesterday and pretended to have feelings that they didn’t have. They lack the basic emotion of empathy and don’t care the least bit about how hurt you are. They will not hesitate to say even more hurtful things to you if they can get you off their back that way.
In this case, it is important to remember that this breakup is not your fault. They were playing with you and your feelings for so long until they felt that it was time to conquer someone else’s love. And if they ever decide to come back, it’s not because they truly love you, but because they want something more from you.
7. They will resort to emotional breakdowns.
In most relationships, there are certain hardships that people go through, and their partner supports them as they go through them. Be prepared to be reminded of how much they supported you during that time. And now you are hurting them so much by being so inconsiderate of their feelings. They will probably start crying and get hysterical.
In combination with their need for attention, they might ask to come by and get their things and instead break down in front of you. That’s why it’s better to arrange for someone else to hand them their belongings. You don’t have to meet with them if you feel like they might become abusive or manipulative.
8. They will focus on your drawbacks.
That one time you called them for help will probably be brought up after you tell a narcissist that you want to break up. Their plan is to prove to you how much you need them and how much more difficult your life will be without them. They will dig up instances of when you asked for their help as proof that you need them in your life in order to function properly.
If your confidence isn’t at its highest, this plan can be very successful. Remember that narcissists can often see through people’s weaknesses and use them to their benefit. Things that you never realized were bothering them will be mentioned now that you don’t want them next to you anymore.
Have you ever been together with a narcissist? What was your experience with them while in a relationship and how did they handle your breakup?