I Excluded My Stepson From Our Family Vacation

Family & kids
4 weeks ago

Family vacations are meant to bring people closer, but sometimes, they can highlight underlying tensions. One reader shared a challenging experience involving her stepson, a high-stakes family trip, and an unexpected conflict that threw everything into disarray. What started as an attempt to bond turned into a whirlwind of emotions, leaving her questioning decisions and struggling to mend relationships.

James Green
3 weeks ago

First your a horrible step parent, what makes you think your 3 year old is the 16 ye old responsibility, the proper thing to do would of been leave the 3 or old behind with someone to watch. You will never repair the horrible memory that 16 yr old will have. Sadly I see divorce is the only answer or maybe his mother will take him, with a hefty above average child support.

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Teresita Mohammed
3 weeks ago

you caused all the problems!!! now deal with your karma evil stepmom!! why should stepson be forced to babysit 3yr. old??!! >(

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J E
3 weeks ago

Being the dad in this same situation almost cost us our marriage ..... you need to change how you see your kids and or step kids..... sincerely another blended family

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Amanda Wilson
3 weeks ago

I hope your husband leaves you and takes his son to a better environment… you are a lazy hateful person who shouldn’t have step children

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Marnae m
3 weeks ago

Liar. You don't love that boy. He can see it and you didn't do a good job of convincing this Reddit reader.

Why put forth a stipulation that he can come but has to work for it by babysitting your kid. Not his sibling.

You are THE A.. HOLE.

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Jennifer Kilford
3 weeks ago

You know when people talk about horrible step-parents...well you've just shown yourself. I feel sorry for your step children

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Caroline Rose
3 weeks ago

Why did your step son have a "condition" to come but not your kids? It isn't his job to watch YOUR child and it sounds like you just wanted a reason to exclude him. You need to grow up and become a better parent and step parent.

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Pinkpunk143
3 weeks ago

You can come with this as long as you're the nanny? How do you Tell your stepchild that? That's not a vacation for him that's a vacation for everyone but him. I can't believe that she thought that was okay that poor kid I bet he does feel undervalued

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3 weeks ago
The comment is deleted. The party is over.
Steve
3 weeks ago

What makes you think that your stepson is the one responsible to take care of the youngest child

Your stepson is not the one that had the child
your stepson is not the one that married into a family that you need a babysitter so you can enjoy a decent vacation

you owe him a big apology I think what you really need is go to a class on proper parenting
adults take care of the children children don't take care of the children

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Amanda Baker
3 weeks ago
Janet Doyle

Most definitely needs to divorce her and find someone who genuinely cares for all the children there not baby sitters and why should he it's his holiday as well it's your responsibility to care for all your children biological or not they come as a package and most definitely you need to apologise to the step son he probly feels left out and that's why he kicked off and I don't say I blame him.

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Nel Cameron
3 weeks ago

Really... you owe son a huge apology. Take him on vacation as a nursemaid? Shame on you. Try going as a family (you can look that up) and do activities together. If necessary, hire a babysitter for a day or an evening. Being a step parent or step child is hard enough without making holes in the relationship.

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denise quinby
4 weeks ago

Really you only wanted him there to baby sit your brat that is ll kinds of wrong on so many levels

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3 weeks ago
There's no point in hiding the truth, but we'll try.
patricia Torres
4 weeks ago

Have you seriously no thoughts? You are a messed up person, to use a step child to babysit. That toddler is your responsibility not his and a family vacation does not come with conditions requiring only your step son to cater to a toddler. That's not love, that's just manipulation. A typical habit used by step parents and widowed parents that prefer their new family and toss their biological kids as stay home nannies. You are a parent and taking care of children acquired through marriage or biological not the other way around. Your attitude is wrong, your stepson is hurt and you are responsible for that pain .

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Camille Edwards
3 weeks ago

Put yourself in your stepson's place. He not the father of that child, why is he to be responsible for that child then? Aren't you the mother? Isn't it your duty to care for your children? And you married into his family so your stepson is also your responsibility to take care of. I'm sure his father's money is part of the "family"vacation that you planned, but he can only come if he babysits Your child? And you need to be told you're in the wrong here?
You owe this young man an apology and his father needs to speak up and step up!

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Thank you, Michelle, for trusting us with your story. Building relationships with teenage stepchildren is never easy, and we truly understand the challenges involved. We hope the advice we’ve carefully put together will provide the guidance and support you need.

Have a heart-to-heart conversation.

Cindy S
3 weeks ago

Coming from a blended family who married a man with 2 teenage boys I can tell you that yes... YATA. I have no idea how you thought it was ok to put stipulations on his joining the FAMILY trip. I can't believe his father allowed this in the first place but what I do know is you both owe that child a huge apology. Way to go to make him feel less than the other children and not a part of the family. Seek consuling if you really believe you love that child... your actions speak otherwise.

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Take the time to sit down with your stepson in a calm, private setting where he feels safe to open up. Let him speak freely about his feelings, even if they’re hard to hear. Avoid interrupting or becoming defensive; instead, focus on truly understanding his perspective. Reassure him that he’s important to you and that you want to find a way to move past the tension together.

Acknowledge his feelings.

Even if his behavior is challenging or disruptive, try to see the situation from his point of view. Tell him you understand why he might have felt excluded or burdened by the babysitting condition. Validating his emotions doesn’t mean excusing his actions, but it does show him that you recognize and care about his feelings.

Set clear boundaries without blame.

When discussing the babysitting arrangement, explain your reasoning calmly and without assigning blame. Acknowledge that it may have seemed like a big responsibility for someone his age and assure him it wasn’t meant to single him out. Use this as a chance to set clearer boundaries and expectations for the future. Discuss how responsibilities can be shared more fairly in the future, making sure he feels valued and included.

Focus on family bonding.

Make a conscious effort to plan activities that include everyone and foster connection. Whether it’s a game night, a weekend hike, or a movie marathon, choose activities that allow your family to spend quality time together without focusing on past disagreements. Building positive memories together can help heal the rift and reduce feelings of exclusion.

Show him that he matters to you.

Regularly remind your stepson that he’s an important part of your family and that your love for him isn’t conditional. Simple gestures, like asking about his interests, celebrating his achievements, or expressing pride in who he is, can go a long way in making him feel secure and appreciated. With time, these regular reassurances can rebuild trust and show him you’re dedicated to a strong, loving relationship despite past conflicts.

Building strong relationships with stepchildren can sometimes be challenging. Picture setting aside money over time for a personal goal you’ve dreamed of achieving, only to face the possibility of giving it up to meet unexpected demands. This is exactly what happened to one of our readers when she realized her long-awaited plans might have to be postponed.

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Sara Kreps
4 weeks ago

what is wrong that the professionals didn't ask why she placed this condition on her stepson? there's a lot of info missing here but from what is presented, she sounds thoroughly in the wrong and should apologize over the condition. yes, he behaved poorly but why did repacking make you miss your flight?

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aj Jones
3 weeks ago

You and your husband was dead wrong.Why would any teenager agree to go on trip just to babysit their siblings .And for only him to do it is just crazy.Either Every one would of took turns.Or better yet was there other family members the child could of stayed with depending on how long the family was gone.

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Melissa Geary
6 days ago

That is not another childs responsibility to watch YOUR child. Age doesn't matter he is a CHILD. Totally selfish to exclude a child because you don't get what you want. Totally disgusting. His Dad needs his head examined if he thought this behavior from you is acceptable. You need to go and grow up. Diagusting

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