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I Fell in Love With My Neighbor, but After Babysitting His Kids I’m Full of Doubts
A woman, 35, wrote us a very emotional letter about her problem, which is falling in love with her married neighbor, and she asked us to publish it in order to get advice from our readers. She said, «I obviously can’t talk about this with any of my friends or my parents, so I think your page is a good place to talk about this, because I need advice so badly. I know you all will probably judge me, but at least try to understand my side. Thanks.»
An anonymous woman shared her story with us.
Our reader, a 35-year-old woman, who preferred to stay anonymous, decided to share her very controversial story with us. She wanted to know what our audience thinks about her complicated issue, and she was obviously prepared for being judged, too.
She opened her latter, saying, «So I’m 35, and 9 months ago I had a very messy and painful breakup with my fiancé, so I moved in with one of my friends and her husband in a house we are all now renting together. It was then that I met my neighbor, who I will call Kevin. He helped us all move our stuff into the new house, and I fell in love with him at first sight. We live in the suburbs of a big city, so we both ended up taking the same bus to work at the same time each day.»
The woman explained, «I knew Kevin had a wife and kids. I was aware of it from the very beginning, but it never stopped me. Kevin talked about them very often and even showed me the photos of them on his lockscreen and I saw some family pics of Kevin and his wife in their joint account on Facebook. I didn’t mind it at all, the whole relationship initially started out as a very innocent, silly crush.»
The woman didn’t keep her feelings to herself.
The woman goes on with her story, explaining, «Kevin is a handsome and a funny and sweet guy. The first time we were together in the bus, he asked me about my job and life, and I saw he was genuinely interested in what I was saying. This is something my ex never did and is something we argued about a lot.
Kevin is always doing things for his kids, he brings them treats and other stuff, and he was staying on the phone with his small daughter the entire way to work because she needed a soothing talk before a school presentation. For me, it was easy to imagine how lovely and attentive Kevin would be with me because he was like that with everyone else.»
The woman added, «I just knew that Kevin and I could easily become something more. I also found out shortly after I developed feelings for Kevin that his wife is a person I went to the same school with, and I was surprised because they are total opposites. He is funny, she is very dry, he is exciting, she is dull, he is not an intellectual person, but she is very smart. I just was sure that their personalities didn’t fit very well together at all, and I could easily see Kevin getting stuck in a relationship because he was just so nice.»
Once, Kevin asked the woman for a favor and she agreed to help him.
The woman goes on with her story, and she is getting very emotional about how the things developed. She wrote, «One evening, Kevin knocked on my door and asked if I could watch his kids for a few hours. I agreed right away. He told me that his wife was in the hospital in another city, Kevin was super worried and decided to drive there to see her. They don’t have any relatives, so he asked me to keep an eye on their kids for a few hours while a family friend would drive several hours to watch the kids at night.»
And that was the moment when the issue came in. The woman revealed, «Kevin’s kids were an absolute nightmare. They have three girls, and the oldest was a typical bratty preteen with a complicated character. She was rude, she disrespected my authority, she was arguing with me about everything. I even heard her call me names under her breath a couple times.
The middle girl was very loud and wanted to play loud, messy games even when I told her not to. The youngest girl, however, was sweet and quiet on her own, but she quickly joined in with the drama that her sisters wanted to create.»
The woman added, «I finally agreed to play hide and seek with the younger girls and I ended up getting locked out of the house. When I went back and tried to convince the oldest girl to let me in through the back door, she pretended she didn’t hear me and just put her headphones on. Thankfully, Kevin’s family friend arrived a few minutes later and let me in, and then I went home.»
The woman now has very mixed feelings about everything.
The woman concluded, «The incident with babysitting makes me really sad, because before that time I would often dream about being a stepmom to Kevin’s kids one day. Now I want nothing to do with these horrible kids, but at the same time, this is another proof to me that Kevin and his wife are not happy because children from a happy family do not behave like this.»
The woman added, «I just want to have a relationship with Kevin now, but I do not know if it is possible because his kids and I would not get along at all. Their mother also could easily get them to hate me. I really love Kevin and I know that we could have a beautiful relationship. But the incident with his kids has really shaken me. I just wish I had someone to talk to about this, but everyone in my life would simply judge me.»
And here’s yet another story about intricate relationships with neighbors. A woman’s husband was secretly watching their new neighbor, and the woman sincerely thought that he fell for her. But the truth appeared to be far more complicated, and the woman learned a lesson from this incident.
Comments
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Yes he will definitely probably go on dating behind ur back. Just like now how he "drove to a hospital in another city to check up on sick exwife " without informing her children, without taking her kids to visit sick mom.
What makes you think he would even be interested in you. He is being friendly, but obviously cares about his wife, if he wanted to drive to another city where she was hospitalized. You are mistaking your dream for reality. Besides, considering your feelings towards his children, even if he was available, it couldn't possibly work ( My daughter has a similar experience, with a divorced boyfriend who had a bratty daughter...she ended up breaking up for another reason, but she knew it was doomed because of the child). Just remain friendly, but forget about your "love story" it can't happen!
Giving a smack up the side of the head!!! Your neighbour is MARRIED with children!! He is not available to you. If you can't let him go live his life, you need to move to your own apartment farther away from your neighbour. Find a boyfriend that will be emotionally available to you. Stop with the fantasy!! This is not helpful to your mental health.