I Found Out My Boyfriend Was Married, and His Wife’s Request Left Me Stunned

Love can have a very strong effect on us. It leads us to consider a relationship or even marriage. And if you love someone deeply, you might even want to start a family with them. But one of our readers found out that love isn’t always as simple as it seems.

This is Wendy’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

A few years ago, I fell in love with a man and we started a relationship. Everything was going well, except he couldn’t come over on certain days or times. I thought he might’ve been busy with other things, so I left it.

But I recently found out that it was because he was married. He had a wife whom he had been married to for ten years. They had three kids together and lived in a very nice part of the city. I found out because his wife confronted me about the “affair.”

Needless to say, it ended in an argument between us. He begged and pleaded for me to stay, saying he would leave his wife, and we could have the life we’d always talked about. But it didn’t feel right anymore. I mean, if he could do that to his wife, what could he do to me?

For a few weeks, our conversations revolved around him begging and me pushing him away. Two weeks ago, he told me that he had filed for a divorce because he didn’t want to lose what we had. His words really got to me. His constant begging was starting to wear me down.

Last week, I found out I was pregnant with his child. Shortly after that, his wife called me and demanded a meeting. I was hesitant at first, but she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. So I went and had a coffee with her.

During our meeting, she told me not to trust him. He always acted like she was the best woman on the planet, but he cheated every chance he got. It was a warning I took to heart, but it wasn’t all she said. She also asked if I’d be willing to let her kids meet the baby.

She said that since it was their father’s blood, they had a right to know it and to be a part of its life. I don’t know how she found out about it, but at this point too much is happening for me to care.

So Bright Side, I need advice. What do I do about my baby’s father? And do I allow his children to get to know my child? Is it a good idea to have his ex-family in my baby’s life?

Regards,
Wendy R.

Our Editorial team has some advice.

Dear Wendy,

Thank you for reaching out to us and for sharing your story. We can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, but we can imagine that this is a very difficult situation for you.

The only thing that matters right now is creating stability for the baby. Your partner has already proven he can lie, sneak around, and live two lives without blinking. A divorce doesn’t erase that. Promises and begging mean nothing compared to his actions, and his actions show he can’t be trusted.

The smartest move is to handle everything through the courts. You need to make sure that custody, support, and visitation rights are dealt with properly, so there’s no confusion later.

As for his kids, that decision doesn’t have to be made today. Right now, it’s too messy, too emotional, and too unstable to bring them into the picture.

Later on, when things have settled and if it feels right, there may be space for those relationships to grow naturally. For now, the focus should stay on giving the baby a calm, safe start without all the noise from the dad’s other life.

Wendy has quite a bit to think about over the coming months. But she isn’t the only one who found herself in a difficult position because of a relationship.

One of our other readers also reached out. This is her story: I Took a Married Man Away From His Family, I Expected a Paradise but My Life Turned Into a Nightmare.