I Hate My Husband’s Coworker but He Says I’m Overreacting

In today’s story, a woman grapples with an intense aversion to her husband’s colleague, only to face his dismissive response. As tensions rise and the situation unfolds, we are invited to explore the complexities of marital communication, personal boundaries, and the fine line between intuition and overreaction.

She explained what’s happening.

Me (F27) and my husband (M34) have been married for 3 years but were dating 4 years prior. He recently got a promotion in his company and moved to a different department. In this department, he recently started interacting with a colleague (F24). I dislike her and have from the start.

Every time I’m there, she makes sure to call him her work husband. Or she will do simple things such as making him food or giving him extra tight hugs. But my breaking point was last week when he had come home with the food I made him.

When I asked him why his lunch bag was still full of what I had made him in the morning, he said that she had made him food, and he didn’t want to seem rude and waste it. So I ignored it till he threw away the food I made him. I woke up at 6 am just to make him his favorite food.

But ever since then, this has been happening every day. It’s started to get annoying. Till today, I decided not to make him lunch.

He came downstairs in the morning to me making breakfast and asked me where his lunch was. I said I didn’t make him one because it was going to go to waste anyway. He started arguing that I was being petty over a little thing. But I tried to discuss how I felt, and he went over it.

People got on her side.

• “Who is hugging their co-worker in front of their SO (or at all) in the first place? I think you need to sit down and have a real frank conversation with your husband. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, he would not like you doing any of this.” lowkeyhobi / Reddit
• “I think, in plain words, you need to tell your husband that you don’t want him interacting with her at all unless it’s required for business and only as minimum as necessary. Her behavior from consistently cooking for him to calling him her work husband and giving him tight hugs is extremely inappropriate.
  He should not be more worried about hurting a coworker’s feelings than disrespecting his marriage. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings by not eating her food, but he has no issue with throwing his own wife’s food away in front of you?
  His coworker’s behavior is a direct threat to his marriage, and it is his responsibility to set and enforce the boundaries to protect said marriage.” SubbySuccubi / Reddit
• “Your husband is an idiot and opening himself up to complaints if he has any sort of seniority and makes preferential decisions regarding this friend. It doesn’t take much effort for those around them to extrapolate extra tight hugs into they’re having an affair via office gossip.” notAugustbutordinary / Reddit

• “Your husband is having an emotional affair with this woman. And it will soon be physical, judging by the fact she is hugging him tightly at work.” Tarkov_Has_Bad_Devs / Reddit
• “Your husband is an idiot. He’s absorbing the attention of a young female co-worker and snubbing his wife. You are a rarity in today’s world.
  My wife has prepared my lunches for the past 26 years, not out of duty or coercion, but out of love. I would be lost if I worried about another person’s feelings, let alone a female, at the sacrifice of my wife. It’s not about the food, it’s a labor of love.” False_Exercise_9323 / Reddit
• “Him getting homemade lunches from you is a gift and a privilege, not a right. Him throwing away food you worked hard on and worrying about hurting her feelings but not yours is very disrespectful.” Big_Zucchini_9800 / Reddit

The story serves as a reminder that open communication and mutual respect are the cornerstones of resolving conflicts, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and fostering a deeper connection.