I Kicked My Stepson Out of My House — My Wife Thinks I'm Being Petty

Children often like to test boundaries with parents. But what happens when the "child" is a fully grown adult, and not related to you by blood? A Redditor found himself in a similar situation, and wonders if he went too far in teaching his stepson a lesson. Here's his story.

My stepson decided to prank me.

[Edited] My wife and I have been married five years. I'm 48, and she's 45. She has a son from a previous relationship. So I have a stepson. Dylan is 22.

We have a decent understanding, but nothing super close. I treated him like my own and helped support him through college. He recently graduated and moved back in with us, while he looked for a job. Things were fine for a while, but he started hanging out with some friends who he said were into “pranks.”

A couple of weeks ago, my wife, Karen, was out of town visiting her sister. I work from home. The morning of a big presentation, I had spent weeks preparing, he decided to prank me.

Dylan thought it would be funny to wrap all of my work supplies—computer, files, even my chair—in duct tape. The tape was impossible to remove without ruining some of my files, and I had to scramble to piece together my presentation. I lost it.

When I confronted Dylan, he laughed and said, “It’s just a joke, chill out.” I told him that this wasn’t funny and that his lack of respect for my work was unacceptable. He brushed me off and acted like I was overreacting.

When Karen got back, I told her what happened and said that I couldn’t live with someone who didn’t respect me or my home. I told Dylan he needed to move out. He packed up and went to stay with a friend, but now Karen is furious with me.

She says I’m being too harsh and that Dylan is “just a kid” who made a dumb mistake. Dylan has since apologized, but I told him he needs to learn that actions have consequences. Karen thinks I’m being petty and putting my pride above family, but I feel like this is about respect.

Am I in the wrong for not letting Dylan move back in?

Redditors feels this was way more than a prank.

• That's not a prank, it's literal vandalism. A prank would have been if he wrapped saran wrap over the door or something… annoying, yes, but not destructive to your files. (And the goo on duct tape never comes off furniture, either, unless you use special goo gone stuff that also strips off the finish.) © Secret_Sister_Sarah / Reddit
• What he did was NOT a prank/joke. It could have had serious consequences for your job. Dylan Is NOT “just a kid”. He's a college graduate and a grown man. What he did is on the level of what a 12-year-old would think is funny.
  Whether the apology was sincere enough for you to consider letting him back, is up to you. I have a hard time forgiving cruelty and meanness.
  Edited to add: I know that duct tape probably left permanent damage to some of your computer equipment and furniture. Tell him he can come back when he reimburses you for the damage. © JanetInSpain / Reddit
• Pranks are only pranks if they're funny and do no lasting damage. Duct tape is pretty well known for being strong and sturdy. He's dumb if he didn't think it'd do lasting damage or at the very least delay your work by a lot, ruining your day as soon as it started. That's not a prank, that's undermining and sabotaging you. © lydocia / Reddit
• He's been an adult for four years. He graduated from college, he's not a kid. He might act like a child, but he's not one. What if you got fired? How are you going to support your wife, her kid, and yourself. Even if your wife works, you still could have lost an income.
  This wasn't just a prank. Both of them should be taking this a lot more serious than they are. Putting your pride above family? In what family is it ok to mess with another family member's livelihood? © Vandreeson / Reddit

Others felt the wife was a red flag.

• He is “just a kid?” He is 22. Mom needs to cut the cord and her baby boy needs to grow up. Actions have consequences. © HauntingReaction6124 / Reddit
• He’s 22, not 12. He’s staying at your house for free, and he couldn’t even respect your belongings. Your wife needs to cut the umbilical cord. © Vvvvvhonestopinion / Reddit
• Yeah, I love the “oh he’s just a kid” excuse. He literally is over the legal age to be considered an adult, and he just finished college. What else has to happen before mother considers him an adult? © Oddly-Appeased / Reddit
• Your wife siding with her 22-year-old brat on this shows a level of “my baby can do no wrong” that I see as a major red flag… © Secret_Sister_Sarah / Reddit
• He's the age she was when she had him. How does that not mean adult in her mind? © ninjette847 / Reddit

This is all about boundaries and respect between parents and stepchildren. But what happens when the stepchildren are fine and the husband is the source of conflict?