I Knew My Daughter Didn’t Like My Job, but I Didn’t Expect Her to Hurt Me Like This

Many parents may find it hard to balance work and family while handling teenage judgment. They may face situations where kids embarrass them in public, struggle with respect, or cope with family stress, highlighting the emotional strain they experience.

Vivienne’s story:

Hello Bright Side!

I’ve seen a lot of posts here with people sharing their experiences, so I thought I’d share mine too and maybe find a bit of relief... I work at a fast food place that happens to be super close to my daughter’s school. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills and honestly the schedule works for me since I can keep an eye on things while she’s in school.

My daughter hates that I work there. She’s told me more than once that it’s “embarrassing” and that I “couldn’t find anything better.” I usually just let it roll off my back because, well, teenagers say stuff, right?

But the other day, she did something completely unexpectable, and I was in disbelief. She came in with her friends and completely humiliated me. She literally pointed at me behind the counter and said, “Look at this, my mom works at a fast food joint. None of your parents would stoop that low. I wish I’d never have to see my mom like this.”

I swear, I felt my stomach drop. Like someone punched me. I didn’t even know what to say. I just kept working like nothing happened, but when I got home later, I cried in the bathroom so she wouldn’t see.

The thing is, she doesn’t get the full picture. After my husband passed, things got really hard. I had to take whatever job I could to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I wish I could shield her from all this, but it’s just reality right now.

But I can’t lie, what she said cut deep. Now I feel this distance between us, and I don’t even know how to start that conversation. Do I call her out? Do I let it go? Do I wait for her to come to me?

Bright Side, how do I handle this? Should I confront her about how badly it hurt me, or just chalk it up to teenage immaturity? I don’t want to ruin our mother-daughter relationship too... I’m stuck!

Thank you in advance,
Vivienne

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Vivienne! We really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability, it’s not easy to open up about these moments. We’ve tried to gather some pieces of advice from others who’ve been through similar experiences, and we hope they offer a bit of guidance and support.

• Be unapologetically you — It’s easy to feel like you have to “be a different mom” in her eyes, but you don’t. Let her see that your job doesn’t define your value. Model pride in your choices, it’s a subtle lesson she might not get now, but it sticks.
• Lead by example — Sometimes actions speak louder than words. If she sees you handling your job with dignity and kindness, even when it’s tough, she’ll eventually internalize respect for work and people. Kids notice more than we think.
• Talk when she’s receptive — Don’t try to hash things out right after she shamed you in front of her friends. Wait until it’s just the two of you, maybe after school or during a quiet evening. Context changes how teens hear you.
• Remember: This phase will pass — It’s brutal now, and your feelings are valid, but this teenage embarrassment thing? It’s temporary. Keep showing her love, setting boundaries, and living your life with pride. Someday, she’ll get it, or at least, she’ll remember your resilience.

With understanding and patience, parents and teens can work through these challenging moments together. Taking small steps to communicate and set boundaries can strengthen trust and connection over time.
Read next: I Refuse to Give My 16-Year-Old Son a Bedroom Door