I Heard a Secret Conversation Between My Husband and His Work Buddy — I’ve Never Been This Humiliated

Infidelity, whether it’s through physical actions or emotional disconnect, can inflict profound wounds on a relationship. A recent Reddit post recounted a woman’s heartbreaking discovery of her husband’s disparaging remarks about her, leaving her reeling with shock and devastation. Seeking solace and guidance, she turned to the online community for insights on navigating this painful revelation and determining her next course of action.

She wrote:

“I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, married for 11. Amazing relationship, small bumps of course but nothing like this.

I’ve always made lunch for him to take to work, up until a little over a month ago, when he said that a new food stand opened up outside of his office, and that he had been having lunch there instead because it was really good. So he just completely stopped asking me for lunch. I had maybe packed 5 during this time frame for him, but I’m not even sure he was eating them now.”

She continued,

“The other day, I received a call from my husband, I thought he was calling me during his lunch break, but turned out he had butt-dialed me. At first, I didn’t hear much, just his voice, while he talked to someone, so I was about to hang up until I heard another voice. I got curious, so I muted my call at work and listened. It was just a standard conversation with a woman at first, he was praising her cooking A LOT. Which of course made me realize that he was eating lunch this coworker had made. I was a bit peeved, but I thought to myself there should be an explanation for sure.

However, I completely lost it when I heard her saying, ‘...So tell me, was it better than your wife’s?’ To which my husband replied, ‘Oh yeah, no doubt! She tries her best of course, but yours wasn’t tasteless for a start,’ followed by laughing.

Now, what’s that supposed to mean? 15 years of cooking, and NOW he has a complaint?! And not even to me, but to some coworker?! Also, that absolutely isn’t innocent on her end, right? That’s so weird, why even did she bring me up? Anyway, I raised hell; I ended the call and sent him a message not to ‘worry about my tasteless cooking anymore’ and that he ‘can eat from the bin’ from now on.”

She went on saying,

“He has apologized, saying that he loves my food, and that he was just trying to seem cool in front of his coworker. I asked him why he lied about where he was getting lunch from, and he said that initially he did get it from that stand, but then the coworker started offering, and he didn’t want to tell me because he thought that I would get jealous.

So, I’ve been airing him since. I’m still pissed to be honest, I haven’t made him lunch or dinner since he said that he dislikes it so much. Today, he said that he has apologized, and that I shouldn’t keep punishing him like that, but I’m literally an inch from going to my parents’. I have a suitcase with my clothes packed ready under our bed.

My dad thinks it was a stupid comment but that I should work it out, while my mom is on my side regardless of my decision. I’m thinking about leaving for a few days at least, but I honestly just want some reassurance if that’s what’s best to do?”

Other Redditors joined the conversation, validating the woman’s doubts, leaving comments such as:

• Verbally throwing his wife under the bus and denigrating her to sound cool is already messed up, even to a fellow male co-worker. But doing that with a female colleague while eating a lunch she’s brought in for him, and she feels comfortable enough to join in/initiate the denigration, is wrong on a whole new level. They are definitely having at least an emotional affair and likely heading their way to a physical one. © SingleBat5604 / Reddit

• There are multiple issues with this situation. The cooking comment is the least of the worries... I’d be very hurt by it all, lunch, woman, food comment, packing lunch denial, laughing, and tried to hide all of it. I’d run fast and far. © Mindless_Analyzing / Reddit

• I definitely wouldn’t be asking a married man if my cooking was better than his wife’s. But then, I wouldn’t be cooking for a married coworker, either. And why exactly did he need to look “cool” in front of this coworker? It’s because he’s attracted to her.
  Otherwise, he could easily have said something like, “My wife’s cooking is great, but this is different for a change.” Also, he lied about where he was getting his lunches... Once you start lying to your spouse in order to spend time with someone you’re attracted to, you’re entering affair territory. © AWindUpBird / Reddit

• He insulted you to look cool in front of a female coworker?! Like, why?! That makes no sense, unless he was trying to impress her. Denigrating you and disregarding that you have been feeding him for years, how disrespectful! That would definitely feel like a slap in the face if I was in your shoes. I’m sorry hun! © Hexagonsnsuch / Reddit

• I’d like to say it sounds innocent, but it sounds like an iceberg. You’re just now seeing the tip of something that has a lot more under the surface. He is being deceitful to you and is building an inappropriate relationship with her.
  What woman would make meals for a married male coworker on a daily basis? The answer is: one who is trying to steal your man. Also, your husband shouldn’t talk like that about you. If he isn’t physically cheating yet, the emotional cheating is as bad or worse already. Remember, you are a strong woman who deserves to be treated with love and respect. © lieselmini / Reddit

• He’s having an emotional affair at the minimum. He needs to find a new job or switch departments at least. I would make it plain to my husband that if he continues with this woman in his life, I won’t stick around to be in his life. Emotional affairs turn physical every day. © Ladyvett / Reddit

In another post, we delve into the emotional experience of a different woman who saw her self-assurance crumble when her husband made a shocking statement during a therapy session.