I Put a Lock on My Daughter’s Door to Protect Her Belongings From My Brother-in-Law’s Daughters

Having a teen in the house is always somewhat of a lottery — today you may get a cool breeze, while tomorrow can turn out to be an adolescent storm. And when you have 3 teens that don’t get along well, may good luck be with you. Luckily, all of this is temporary, and with patience and some skill, you can easily find the way out.

One of our Bright Side readers sent us an e-mail asking for help with a situation that’s been bothering him and his daughter. We’ve picked some brains and are here to give Daniel a hand at solving this problem as quickly as possible.

Hey, Daniel! Thanks for trusting us with this problem. We at Bright Side found some ways you can get everything back to normal.

• Have a heart-to-heart family talk, sit down and just talk it out between the 3 of you: Amy, your wife, and yourself. Tell Amy to share all her feelings and mention that she’s suffering from a lack of privacy. Meanwhile, explain to your wife that it pains you to see your daughter miserable.
  Your wife will understand your intentions if you really open up to her and share your concerns.

• Ask the girls to have more respect for Amy’s privacy. Explain to them that taking things without permission is not borrowing, but stealing. Let them know that the lock will be removed as soon as they learn the difference and are willing to be more considerate.

• Help your brother-in-law to find an apartment. He’s already in quite a difficult situation — he divorced his wife and has nowhere to go. Perhaps he doesn’t even have enough motivation or energy to look for a place because of depression. Offer him your help, and maybe he’ll find a new home faster.

• Don’t remove the lock and leave your daughter helpless. Although it might not seem like it, right now, the lock reflects the fact that you recognize Amy’s frustrations and fully support her. There’s nothing worse than feeling unsafe and powerless in your own home, so let that be a source of trust for your daughter.

• Reassure your daughter that you’re not going to remove the lock. She’ll feel safer and calmer since you’re the only person who shows support for her. Tell her that the situation is temporary, and you’ll always be on her side.

Family issues can truly test your character and relationships. That’s why it’s important to make decisions wisely without rushing. Occasional quarrels are inevitable, but luckily, it’s always possible to make it work if all family members cooperate.

If you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We’ll make sure to help you out as soon as possible. Just drop us a letter, and we’ll be there for you.