I Refuse to Be Blamed for My New Coworker’s Divorce, I’m Not an Office Scapegoat

When it comes to workplace scandals, many of us picture office intrigues and some work-related drama. But this woman unknowingly became a reason why her colleague experienced a major family storm. Read the full story, and have a say about who’s the bad guy here.

A woman turned to Reddit with her explosive workplace story and asked people for advice.

The OP (original poster) wrote, “I’m 23, happily single, and I work with a really chill team. Everyone’s super friendly, we help each other out a lot, and we usually go out for lunch together once a week. Our boss is cool, too. He’ll bring in coffee and donuts every now and then just because.

We got a new guy recently, I’ll call him Jake. He’s in his early 30s, been married for a few years, no kids. Whenever we invite him to join us for lunch or whatever, he always says he can’t. At first, we thought he was just shy or maybe not into group stuff, which is totally fine.”

A revelation about a new colleague’s family situation hit hard.

The OP shared, “But then one day during a meeting, our boss brought coffee and donuts, and Jake was like ‘Man I want one so bad,’ and someone asked if he had a health thing. He goes, ‘Nah, my wife Allison doesn’t let me have coffee or junk food cause she doesn’t like me to have any caffeine or sugar.’ The room went quiet real fast.

I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I asked, ‘Wait, is that why you never come to lunch with us? Cause your wife won’t let you?’ And he said yeah. Apparently she doesn’t want him doing any social stuff without her now that they’re married. Like, he’s only ‘allowed’ to go out if she’s there, too.”

The woman expressed her opinion, and unwillingly escalated the situation.

The OP wrote, “I told him if anyone tried to control what I eat or who I hang out with, I’d be out. That’s not normal. My boss agreed and told him he might want to talk to someone about it, like a counselor or something.

Well, Jake came in today and said they had a huge fight after that convo, and she kicked him out. Now he’s talking to a lawyer about separation.

My sister thinks I was out of line bringing that up in front of everyone, but honestly...was I? I didn’t mean to stir the pot, I just couldn’t stay quiet about how messed up that sounded. Still, I feel a little guilty. Did I overstep?”

Redditors rushed to the comments section, and the opinions were very emotional.

• One user said, “His marital problems are not your doing. They existed long before you came around and would have likely ended up in the same place regardless of your discussion.”
• Another person wrote, “Bet Jake has lost many friends who pointed this out too, maybe even jobs. OP just stated the obvious, and it’s not her fault the boss agreed.”
• One more Redditor said, “OP is saying what others have already told Jake. Jake’s probably taking this a lot more seriously since new coworkers, essentially strangers, basically confirmed that Jake is in an unhealthy relationship.”

• One more user added, “You’re not guilty, you made a comment anyone would make that is not being controlled by someone. Jake simply ended up where he was always destined to be, and much sooner had no one said anything. It’s not healthy or normal to control your partner’s friendships or socialization with others.”
• Someone pointed out, “It might have been more impactful coming from someone the wife didn’t know too. Such spouses will say things like ’your sister/mom/friend never liked me, of course they’re bad-mouthing me,’ in part to alienate and separate you from your support system. Hearing from someone completely removed from the dynamic can be a huge wake-up call.”
• One more person suggested, “You didn’t cause their marriage problems. You and your colleagues just pointed out his wife’s extremely controlling behavior!! You guys didn’t even tell him to leave her, just pointed out that was bad and that he should go to therapy, which is actually the correct answer!!
  If she kicked him out, she did him a favor. Most of the time, we hear about how controlling men are! Just proves that controlling behavior is universal.”

And here’s another family drama with a hidden skeleton in a cupboard. Rachel, 26, had a painful miscarriage, all because of her husband. It was hard for the woman to forgive her spouse, but she came back home after 3 months of healing at her sister’s place. And now, her husband drops a bombshell, which turned Rachel’s life upside down again.