A mother told her three grown kids they’d only get her inheritance if they followed three basic rules. Instead of stepping up, they laughed in her face. Now she’s questioning if cutting them off makes her selfish or finally free.
Hi, Bright Side,
My 3 kids never had proper jobs. They rely on me, asking for money like I’m their personal bank.
One day, I gathered them and said, “If you want an inheritance, follow my 3 rules.” After hearing them, they looked worried. Then they laughed at my face.
My second child said, “So it means we won’t be able to do that. That sounds like effort. I don’t do effort.” My youngest one added, “You’re supposed to take care of us, not the other way around.” I was devastated.
The rules were basic and simple: get a job, stop asking me for money, and prove you can be responsible. So I lost it. I said, “Fine. No job, no effort, no inheritance. End of discussion.”
They tried to guilt-trip me, saying I owed them for bringing them into the world. I told them, “I gave you life, food, and shelter. That’s all I owe. The rest was supposed to be a bonus, and you blew it.”
Now they’re blowing up my phone, calling me selfish, a bad parent, saying I “abandoned” them. I feel guilty for being this harsh, but at the same time, I’m tired of being treated like a walking ATM.
Do you think I did the right thing? They are my kids, after all. And I really am responsible for them.
Yours,
Jane L. C.
They're adults. You did what you needed plus extra and now it's on them. If they're living with you evict them. Stop doing anything for them. And no money, just say no. They'll never grow up if you continue enabling them.
See a lawyer and draft your will. Make sure they can't fight it. If one grows up leave a trust for them.
Hi Jane,
Your kids are adults, not toddlers, and the way they mocked your rules shows they don’t take responsibility seriously, and your financial support can be one of the reasons. Here’s what we suggest you think over:
You are not responsible for funding grown adults. You can still be their mother without being their provider. Make it clear that your relationship is open for visits, calls, and support in non-financial ways—but money is off the table.
When they call to insult you or ask for money, cut the call short. Do not argue, do not explain, do not defend. A simple “I told you my rules, this is not up for discussion” is enough. Repeating yourself only feeds the drama.
Example: “I chose not to leave an inheritance to my children because they refused to follow basic rules of independence and responsibility.” This prevents them from claiming later that you were manipulated.
At the end of the day, Jane, you are not abandoning your kids — you’re giving them the push they refused to take on their own. Guilt is natural, but boundaries are necessary. Standing firm doesn’t make you a bad parent; it makes you a responsible one.
Another woman shared how she gives up her free time to babysit her grandkids, only to be ignored by her son on her own birthday. Now, Jessica wonders if her family truly values her—or if she’s just being used. Read her story and decide whose side you’re on.
