I Refuse to Include My In-Laws in Our Vacation, This Trip Is for My Family Only

A woman planned what was supposed to be a peaceful family getaway — just her, her husband, and their kids. But one unexpected phone call turned her dream vacation into the start of a family drama she never saw coming.

Dear <strong>Bright Side,

I’ve been planning a family trip for months. Just me, my husband, and our two kids. Then my MIL called and said, “So excited for our trip!”

I nearly dropped my phone. I told her I never invited them. On the day we left, my MIL posted on Facebook: “Some people just don’t understand family.”

I thought that was the end of it, awkward, sure, but over. We went on our trip, had fun, and honestly, I tried not to think about her.

But when we got back, my MIL refused to speak to us. She’s been making passive-aggressive posts about “being excluded” and how “kids learn from selfish parents.” Now my husband’s feeling guilty and says maybe we should’ve just invited them to keep the peace.

I’m honestly losing it. I planned, paid for, and organized everything. It was supposed to be our time.

Am I really the bad guy here for not wanting my in-laws to hijack a family vacation? How do I even handle this without it turning into a battle?

-Monica

We’re sorry you had to go through that; family boundaries can be tough, especially when emotions get involved. Maybe, though, a few small tips could help you navigate the situation and keep future vacations drama-free.

• Let her Facebook posts rot in peace: Do not engage. No comments, no “wow” reacts, no defending yourself. Every time you respond, you’re feeding the algorithm and her ego.
  Let her echo chamber cheer her on while you go live your actual life. It’s hard at first, but nothing disarms a drama queen faster than total indifference.
• Have your husband do the heavy lifting: This is his mom, his circus. Let him handle the emotional cleanup, the “she meant well” speeches, and the guilt trips. You organized the trip, not a family intervention.
• Set the record straight, but briefly: If someone (a cousin, a neighbor, whoever) brings up her Facebook post, don’t get defensive. Just say, “We planned a small trip, that’s all,” and move on.
  No monologues, no trying to prove you’re the good guy. People will fill in the blanks anyway—better to give them nothing to work with.

• Get proactive next time: If you plan another trip, drop a casual “Just the four of us this time!” in the family chat early. It’s not rude, it’s preventive. Think of it as pest control for expectations. The earlier you set the tone, the harder it is for anyone to twist the plan later.
• Unfollow, don’t unfriend: Unfriending causes explosions. Unfollowing is stealth mode. You won’t see her pity posts about “family values,” and she won’t get the satisfaction of saying you cut her off. It’s the digital version of noise-canceling headphones.

• Use humor to defuse: When she tries to guilt you, “I just wish we could all spend time together!”, try something like, “Next time we’ll all go camping. I’ll book a separate tent for you!”, smile, then walk away.
  Humor makes you look calm and confident, and it takes the sting out of her passive-aggression without giving her the fight she wants.
• Document the nonsense: Keep screenshots of her posts and texts. Not to expose her, but for your own sanity. Because she’ll eventually claim she never said that. You don’t need to use them, but having receipts helps you stay grounded when she starts rewriting history.

• Control the narrative with kindness: Next time you post a vacation photo, keep it simple: “Loved our little family getaway”. No sarcasm, no shade. The subtext will do the talking.
  It quietly reinforces that the trip was small by design, and that you’re not engaging in her drama. Let kindness be your subtle power move.
• Remind yourself why you planned the trip: You wanted time with your immediate family. That’s reasonable. Boundaries aren’t cruelty—they’re necessary. Keeping that in mind can help you stay confident and prevent unnecessary guilt from creeping in.

Family vacations are meant to bring joy, not stress or guilt trips. When boundaries are crossed or expectations are misaligned, even a simple getaway can turn into a source of tension, like in this story, where a mother-in-law excluded her grandkids from the trip, creating a conflict before it even began.