I Refuse to Let My DIL Get My Late Son’s Inheritance

3 months ago

I Refuse to Let My DIL Get My Late Son’s Inheritance

Family inheritance can become one of the most emotional and divisive topics, especially after the loss of a loved one. Questions about who deserves to receive money or property often stir up tension, guilt, and resentment between relatives. Recently, one of our readers shared her story about facing this exact situation after her son’s passing, when his widow demanded access to his inheritance.

Diane’s letter:

Dear Bright Side,

My 32 y.o. son died just 3 months ago in a car accident.

His wife of 8 years has already found a new man and is relocating to New York with him. She’s taking my 8-year-old grandson with her and demanding my son’s $90K inheritance from me.

I said, “You don’t deserve a dime! That money is my right! And my grandson will receive his share when he turns 18.” She smiled.

But then I froze when she looked me in the eye and said, “You will not like how this will end.”

The next day, my grandson came crying. I froze when he revealed that his mother had decided to move to New York with her new boyfriend—without him.

I called her, and she said, “Well, since you decided not to give me a dime of that money, it’s on you to raise your grandson until he turns 18.”

Now my whole life is turned upside down. I am 65, and even though I love my grandson with all my heart, I’m not in the physical or financial condition to take full care of him.

But I still believe that my DIL should not get my son’s inheritance. I don’t want her to blow it on another man after moving on so quickly, as if my son never even existed.

What should I do?

Sincerely,
Diane

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Amanda Loel

3 weeks ago

Wow, this is so easy.
1. Get the paternity test done.
2. Get the Court involved. Your DIL is legally obligated to provide everything for her son until he's 18.
3. I'm not sure how you ended up with any of your son's estate, even if he died intestate, the Probate Court wouldn't have awarded you any of it when he has left a widow and an heir.
If he hadn't made a new Will since he married, the old one would have become defunct merely by his taking a wife.
But, regardless, put those assets into a Trust for your grandson's tertiary education - that way it can be used for university or trade school, or even the last bit of high school if your DIL is particularly immoral and kicks her offspring out on his 18th birthday, rather than waiting til he completes his bachelor's or trade certification.

Darshan

month ago

Get paternity tests done. You tried to use the promise of future wealth and bungled it. Choice was agree with you or hightail it. Make arrangements with other relatives in your will and also now

Lynda Pierceall

month ago

I’m confused where did then money come from. Is this what you were leaving your son after your death?

Shaena Spencer

month ago

Wow what a piece of work! Willing to abandon her only child for a man!!?? Use that $$ to raise your grandson. With careful planning you both will be ok. He needs you now more than ever. Just make sure you get her to sign her rights over to you. Otherwise she'll "change" her mind once her new kids start popping out....good luck 🤞 I should say without my mom I wouldn't have raised (and still raising) such great kids🩷

Brenda Vance

month ago

Why would you inherit any money from your son's passing? That should normally go to his surviving family(wife and children)because husbands and wives set themselves up that way should the need arise. Thankfully for your grandson your DIL has shown you what kind of an awful mother she's truly going to be now that your son is gone. Be greatful for that. You now how the chance to make it easily legalized and raise your grandson yourself. He is already 8 years old. You'll have some wonderful times ahead with him. He is at such a fun age right now. Make the most of it your able but he'll need some kind of counseling as well because if his mother's actions and his father having just passed at the same time

Amy

2 months ago

Call CPS. I'm confused in the inheritance. Was that from a life insurance policy? I wouldn't give her a dime. The fact that she left her son is messed up.

Andrew Akratos

2 months ago

Report her to child services for neglect and child abandonment - the inheritance is a side issue to a child's welfare

Cheryl Cadwell

3 months ago

If she already knows about an inheritance, where did it come from? If you told your son that you were going to leave it for him when you pass, she may believe that you have already put it aside for him. You are STILL ALIVE, so until you pass, neither you or anyone else knows how much you will want or be able to leave as an inheritance, unless it is an INSURANCE POLICY. Her abandoning her son is a very serious situation. You must call CPS, or your state's equivalent and report it immediately. You also know that she will hold that child over your head as long as she can. If she. SWEARS it was because she's SO DISTRAUGHT OVER HER HUSBAND'S DEATH, she can most likely get him back, but you will never see him again until he is of age. Most jurisdictions are all about reunification with the parents, which is not always the best thing for the children. There are social services that can help you should you decide to try taking custody of your grandson, but young kids almost always feel like whatever happened was their fault and they will cling to the "abusive" parent or the one that abandoned them, promising they will be better. Even though it is NEVER THEIR FAULT! She has used her son for monetary gains and that is disgusting. She could make a claim for social security for him and get it. She wants you to set yourself on fire to keep her warm. I am not expert about these situations but I unfortunately have been a part of some similar situations. I know that you are very concerned about your grandson but you can't help him if you are not capable of doing what is needed for him to grow up in a healthy and safe and happy home. He lost his FATHER, and I haven't heard one word about how this has affected him. Lots of things to consider and it is you and him that will be paying the highest price for it.

Thank you, Diane, for sharing such a painful and complex story. Losing a child is unimaginable, and now you’re facing both grief and responsibility at once.

Here is our advice to you:

Clarify Legal Ownership Before Acting.

RJ m

2 months ago

If there is no will the spouse gets everything hate to say it that's the way it is Grandma is angry because her spouse has moved on it's none of her business and yes when someone dies you can throw them away Grandma can go screw off

Your son’s inheritance may not be as straightforward as you think. Consult a lawyer to determine whether the $90K legally belongs to your son’s estate, your grandson, or you. If it’s your son’s estate, your DIL could have legal grounds to claim a portion as his spouse.

Clear facts prevent emotional decisions that could backfire and ensure your grandson’s future is protected lawfully.

Negotiate a Conditional Agreement With Your DIL.

Instead of flatly refusing her, consider setting strict conditions if she wants access to any of the inheritance.

Propose a written agreement that part of the money goes toward your grandson’s needs only — like school, healthcare, or housing — with receipts or joint oversight. It gives her some access while ensuring your son’s legacy supports his child, not her new relationship.

Protect Yourself From Being Overwhelmed.

Caring for a child at 65 is emotionally and financially demanding. Apply for guardianship assistance or social services in your area. If his mother left voluntarily, she still has a legal obligation to contribute financially — you can pursue child support through family court.

You’re doing your best, but you shouldn’t carry this burden alone. Legal and state support exist for exactly these situations.

Give Your Grandson Stability, Not Sides.

Darshan

month ago

The spouse does deserve inheritance. Married for 8yrs and a kid. U had no right to make demands or change. Finding another partner is a good thing. People are different everywhere

He’s already lost his father and now feels abandoned by his mother. What he needs most is emotional safety. Avoid speaking harshly about his mom, even if you’re angry. Focus on routines, reassurance, and therapy if possible.

Protecting his emotional health now will help him grow up secure, and eventually, he’ll see for himself who truly stood by him.

Another story that’s sparked a lot of discussion comes from Gemma, a vegan who invited her friends to celebrate her birthday at a plant-based restaurant. But when the bill arrived, her friends refused to pay for their meals. Do you think they were right to do that?

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Marissa Bastean

2 months ago

Make sure to file with cops about fact DIL moving to NY without her minor child, this could abandonment, even if left with Grandma. DIL punishing her son because MIL won't fund her life with her new BF. Makes me wonder if had been cheating on OPs son of already had new BF 3 months after his death and living together

Heather

month ago

Did anyone even read this... It says her son's inheritance, not his life insurance, so money the son would have recieved upon OP's death, which the DIL is not entitled to in any way shape or form. Definitely call CPS for abandonment. The audacity of some people