I Refuse to Pay for My Friend’s Bachelorette Trip, I’m Not a Charity

One woman on Reddit thought she was being the ultimate maid of honor—until her best friend’s true colors came out. Suddenly, all her effort wasn’t enough, and the friendship itself was put to the test. How far would you go for a “perfect bride”?

One angry woman turned to Reddit to vent about a pre-wedding scandal she got involved into.

Friendship, of course, can be complicated. Sometimes it feels like a safe harbor, and sometimes it turns into a storm you never saw coming. Many people only realize they’ve been keeping a snake close to their chest when life throws them into moments that truly matter—moments when loyalty and support are needed the most. For this woman, the painful discovery came right in the middle of what was supposed to be a joyful, celebratory event.

A woman, who went under the username Upst41rs_Turnover_t, has shared her story in one of Reddit’s communities, and all she really wanted to know was whether she had overreacted to her best friend’s selfish act. To her surprise, the post quickly shot to the top, racking up over 11K upvotes and 1.2K comments.

From the very beginning, the OP (original poster) sounded deeply frustrated and hurt by what had happened between her and her closest friend. As she explained, she never expected such brutal and inconsiderate behavior from someone she trusted, someone for whom she had spent so much time and energy organizing a bachelorette party. Here’s what actually happened.

OP invested a lot of time and effort into her friend’s wedding preparations, only to find out she was “not good enough.”

The woman wrote, “My best friend (28F) is getting married. I (28F) am her maid of honor. I spent weeks planning a bachelorette weekend, booking an Airbnb, organizing activities, and coordinating with 9 other girls.

Last week, she had a meltdown in the group chat, saying I wasn’t doing enough, that the Airbnb wasn’t ‘aesthetic enough,’ and that she expected me to pay for more of it since I’m the MOH. She even called me ‘lazy’ in front of everyone.

I was so hurt I just canceled the Airbnb reservation and told everyone I wasn’t going anymore. Now she’s furious, saying I ruined her once-in-a-lifetime trip and that I ‘overreacted’ to normal bride stress.

I feel guilty because it’s her big moment, but also... I don’t think I deserved to be treated that way? Did I go too far?”

People of Reddit had a lot to say about the OP’s explosive situation.

• One user shared their story, “My daughter got married last year. I thought for sure she was going to make every other Bridezilla look amateur. She’s boujee, she’s spoiled (yeah I know I did that), and ever since he popped the question, she knew EXACTLY what that wedding was going to look like. She shocked me, and was totally blasé about EVERYTHING. The only part of her vision that changed was the wedding gown. She wanted one thing, I grabbed a ball gown that had what she was looking for, except..... ballgown. She looked at herself and I knew she was wearing a ballgown.
  
  She had her older sister’s as her 2 MoH’s and they were both going insane with work, planning and trying to get everything. She told them to stop, it wasn’t worth the stress, and she decided to kick her future in laws and husband out of the McMansion, and did a weekend of pool partying, and then said they’d take the metro to DC for the museums on Sunday.
  
  My older girls had Shrek themed shirts made that said ‘Last Romp in the Swamp’ on them, along with Shrek ears, sunglasses, and hangover bags inside of canvas bags. She chose to go to the museum. My point in posting this was that if THAT boujee little dictator could be chill about what goes into the planning, I think ANYONE can. But she also said yeah, it’s cool if everything goes right, but if not, it doesn’t matter!!! Cue me having to pick my jaw up off the floor. She said it doesn’t matter because she’s marrying the love of her life. The rest didn’t matter.
  
  I even dreamed of rain the morning of her wedding (which she wasn’t happy about) but both myself and my late husband came from SERIOUS mariner families and it’s considered a blessing for it to rain on your wedding day, as a wet knot is stronger than a dry knot. It poured in the morning. People need to remember it’s not all about Instagram! She had a beautiful wedding without going into debt.”

• Another user commented, “As a man, I’ll admit I’ve never been in this particular loop, but I have young daughters and should probably become more aware of I’m going to support them when it’s their turn. Some of this just doesn’t make sense though.
  
  When did MOH duties expand beyond assisting in wedding planning, throwing a bachelorette party, and providing logistics and support to the bride on the day of the wedding? When did bachelorette party become bachelorette trip? When did the MOH have to start paying for all this nonsense?
  
  The MOH is doing the bride a favor by taking some of the work and stress off the bride’s shoulders. The MOH, and to a smaller degree based on their efforts, the bridesmaids, should receive a small gift in recognition of their sacrifice to be a part of the bridal party and support the bride, right? Based on my probably out of touch understanding, NOR. Regardless if it’s become the social norm, insulting the person you’re relying on to financially and logistically support you is just dumb. That’s not a friend. That’s a leech.”

• Some user wrote, “The bridal party also runs the risk of the bride getting angry at them for not spending or not being able to spend. I’m tired of fair weather friends.”
• Another one added, “As a bride currently myself, I don’t know why anyone buys into this nonsense. It’s not the MOH’s duty to pay more or create some influencer-style ‘aesthetic’ bachelorette vacation trip for ten people. Nor is ‘wedding stress’ ever an excuse for a bride to publicly humiliate their MOH, demand more money from her, or trash her efforts. Any bride with this kind of behavior and expectations is a materialistic, image-obsessed, selfish witch (and NOT a true friend). OP absolutely is not guilty!”

Almost every wedding has 2 sides: the official one, with smiles and colorful photos in the album, and the unofficial one, which remains in family legends and is whispered from one person to another. These ridiculous, but always sincere stories become the main treasure of newlyweds.