Tell him to move in with his father and have his father support him.
I Refuse to Be My Brother’s ATM Anymore—The Revenge He Planned Was Sick

Family loyalty sounds simple until financial support quietly turns into a full-time burden at home. Between work, moving plans, and helping parents, many people end up carrying more than they can handle. When a brother, old habits, and years of “temporary” help collide, the pressure builds quietly but relentlessly. Everyone has an opinion, yet the weight of it all settles in one home and on one person, day after day.
Sofia’s letter:
Hi, Bright Side,
My 35 y.o. brother hasn’t worked in 5 years. He lives in my basement paying nothing while I support him. I gave him 30 days to leave. He exploded: “Abandon family? You’ll regret this!” I changed the locks.
10 days later, my dad pounded on my door screaming, “What have you done? Your brother needs you!” I felt like I was being punished for finally choosing myself.
For years, I paid for his food, his phone, and every excuse about why the next job didn’t work out. I work full-time, manage my house, and still somehow became the villain for wanting my life back.
After he left, relatives started calling nonstop. Some said family should always support each other; others said I was heartless. My brother told everyone I threw him out with no warning, and suddenly I was defending myself instead of healing.
I don’t hate my brother, but I’m exhausted. I want peace in my own home without feeling guilty every time my phone rings. I need advice on how to stand firm without destroying my family relationships.
Most of all, I want to know how to stop feeling responsible for choices I didn’t make.
Yours,
Sofia

If the dad is so concerned- let the brother live in HIS basement and he can support his unemployed son. The brother has no incentive to get a job if someone is
going to just give him food and shelter. Also----cut that phone off!!!!
My third grade teacher in a school in Dubai I used to go to used to always say “Every problem has a solution,” you might have made a mistake but you could always fix it. I believe in you. 5 years is a lot I would have kicked him out the first year. If you have a family group just send an explanation and reason why u kicked him out and tell them u need ur own life.
Agree, changing locks isn't how family should behave. Instead of supporting your brother you kicked him out! Wait until you will need help and he will turn his back!
He's a loser! She's not his mother. She owes him nothing. She already did too much for him, he's a grown man for hevens sake! And his family is way out of line.
You CHANGED THE LOCKS? This is beyond cruel. You could’ve gently talked to your brother but instead you choose to kick him out when he needed you. You need to learn your lesson.
She took care of a grown adult for 5 years. Paying for every single thing. Imo that's 4.5 years to long.
Andie you calm down changing locks is a thing any human would do looks like you want to be in that man's brother's so you can live free that why you are showing empathy? Because what you think someone doing it for 5 years would get off by a gentle talk? The world is harsh not soft like cotton.
She did the right thing, you are not getting the whole picture. I'm sure shes had many talks with him but he wasn't interested in having to work when it's easier to have someone else do it for you.
Yeah, he needed her for 5 years!
Yeah, that's not helping that's enabling. Let the rest of the family step up and see how long it takes for them to evict this moocher.
Remember why you made this decision. You didn’t act out of cruelty but out of survival. When guilt creeps in, remind yourself what daily life felt like before the change. Your peace matters too.
Stop explaining yourself to everyone. Not everyone needs the full story. Repeating yourself only drains energy. Sometimes a simple, calm response is enough.
Let others help if they care so much. People who judge often haven’t offered real support. If someone feels strongly, they can step in themselves. You’re allowed to step back.
Allow relationships to reset naturally. You don’t need to fix everything right away. Let space do some of the work. Healthy connections adjust over time.
Sometimes kindness means giving, and sometimes it means stepping back. If this story resonated with you, you might enjoy reading how simple compassion changed lives in unexpected ways. Take a look at these powerful moments of humanity here: 12 Times Kindness Proved to Be the Most Powerful Force of All.
Comments
Do ANY of you people that write in about "family problems" have a SPINE? WHY TF were you supporting your leech of a brother? WHY TF isn't YOUR FATHER, MOTHER, AUNT, UNCLE, COUSIN, etc... supporting him? Or EVEN chipping in? YOU let him stay, RENT FREE, and YOU paid for EVERYTHING ELSE TOO. Your family, LIKES it that way, because THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. Cut them ALL OFF. You will have peace, quiet and MORE MONEY too.
Tell them that since your brother needs a place to be, you'll inform him that their homes are wide open
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