I Refused to Attend My Sister’s Wedding After She Excluded My Wife

Wedding invites may be a breeze for many, but for some families, complications can arise. In this case, the bride doesn’t want to invite her brother’s wife and, as you can imagine, he is understandably devastated.

Excluding my wife from her wedding is ridiculous.

The brother shares, “My sister’s getting married soon. I was invited, but my wife wasn’t. She sent me an invite, but I assumed she forgot my wife’s. She said it was on purpose. To make it worse, she invited my ex instead.

When I called her and asked why, she coldly said it wasn’t about my ex, but because one of the bridesmaids told her my wife has had tension with Jane. She is my sister’s coworker and bridesmaid.

They recently had a big argument, and she called my wife a liar. Jane said she wouldn’t come if my wife was invited, so my sister decided to exclude her.”

She chose her friend over me, her brother.

He continues, “I told my sister I was hurt she chose her friend over me, but she said I was overreacting and it was her day. She also explained that she only found out about the conflict after choosing Jane as a bridesmaid.

I decided not to attend to stand by my wife. Now, my sister is offended, saying I ruined her wedding. Was I wrong?”

You stood by your wife.

Refusing to show up to the wedding for the sake of your wife shows true loyalty. When your wife felt excluded, you didn’t minimize her feelings, you supported her. You also maturely communicated your feelings to your sister. You didn’t just ghost her or pretend everything was fine.

Your sister may have been shortsighted.

Your sister’s perspective also matters. She’s likely feeling overwhelmed with the wedding preparations and did not expect to be met with this drama.

Nonetheless, she needs to understand that you can’t compromise on your wife’s respect. Plus, her inviting an ex is also questionable. Her decision may have been shortsighted from being distracted with the planning, but she needs to set her invitation priorities straight now.

Finding the middle ground.

As impossible as it may seem, there can be a middle ground in this situation. You can tell your sister that your wife can come, but she doesn’t have to be in close proximity to Jane the entire wedding. Alternatively, the sister can also ask Jane to step down as bridesmaid.

Once you’ve said your piece, remind your sister that you love her, but you have to put your partner first. Reaffirm that your potential absence isn’t meant as a punishment, but as a way of protecting your relationship.

The man stayed loyal to his wife, and that’s admirable. Getting excluded doesn’t feel the best, especially at your sister-in-law’s wedding. But some stories can even be worse, like the case of this woman whose mother-in-law excluded her from all family events.