I Refused to Babysit My Sister’s Kids for Free — Now She’s Angry

Most babysitters are friends and family, and 51% of the people who look after kids don’t earn money for it. Caring for children is a big job, and it can be hard to find a trustworthy sitter, which is why parents often rely on those they trust the most.

A reader of Bright Side named Anne had a bit of trouble when her sister asked her to babysit on short notice. She wrote us a letter about it, and we’ve decided to offer some advice to help her out.

Thanks for reaching out to us, Anne! The team at Bright Side came together to assist you in resolving the tension you’re facing with your sister. Here’s what we came up with to help you out.

• Give it some time to cool down. Wait a few days before having an open chat with Emma. This break will allow both of you to reflect and avoid making things worse by rushing into a discussion right after an argument.

• After you’ve had ample time to think, contact Emma and arrange a face-to-face meeting. In-person discussions are more productive than phone calls because they are more straightforward and open. Virtual interactions can lead to misunderstandings more quickly, so avoiding them in this situation is best.
• Help Emma grasp your perspective more clearly. Communicate to her that although you empathize with the challenges of motherhood, you also have numerous responsibilities in your daily life, such as work.

• Make it clear to Emma that babysitting is demanding and deserves compensation. While friends and family may sometimes assist with childcare without payment, it shouldn’t be assumed. When you look after her children, you’re dedicating time and energy that you intend to use for your livelihood. Furthermore, caring for three children is incredibly challenging, so expecting higher compensation is reasonable.
• Set aside some quality time with Emma. Since you mentioned not being able to do things together like you used to, plan an enjoyable activity for the two of you. It could be as simple as watching a movie or having a coffee date to catch up and chat.

We trust that these suggestions can assist you and your sister in resolving your disagreements and better understand each other.

We understand that the topic of babysitting can often be tricky and may create tension within the family. Here is a daughter-in-law who reached out to us for advice after her mother-in-law asked for money to spend time with her grandchild.