I Secretly Got Rid of My Boyfriend’s Cats—Our Baby Comes First

Parenting often demands impossible choices—especially when your home no longer feels like a safe place to raise your child. When a baby is on the horizon, priorities shift fast. Things that once felt tolerable can suddenly become overwhelming, even dangerous.

One reader reached out to share the story of how her boyfriend’s beloved pets—once just a quirky part of their life together—became a growing concern.

When priorities came into conflict.

I’m pregnant with my first child and recently moved in with my BF and his two “emotional support” cats. Their fur and smell drove me mad. We argued about it daily. So I secretly got rid of the cats.

The next day, I went into our room, and to my horror, my boyfriend was there with my phone in his hand, staring at me like he’d never seen me before.

The discovery that changed everything.

He had opened my text messages. He found out I gave his cats away to our neighbor. He looked furious, and I felt my heart drop. He asked me how I could do something so awful behind his back.

I tried to explain how I didn’t want to raise our baby around animals, that I hated the cats on the bed and couch, and I was scared they’d make our home dirty or unsafe.

A choice made in the name of care.

He cut me off, voice shaking with anger, and said I betrayed his trust. The cats had been with him long before I came into his life. They helped him through tough times, and now they were gone without his permission. He said he couldn’t believe I did this while he was out, without even talking to him first.

I started crying, telling him I only wanted to protect our baby. I begged him to see my side, but he wouldn’t budge. He said I’d crossed a line I couldn’t uncross, and he stormed out of the room, leaving me there in tears.

Questioning the decision after the damage.

I feel so guilty now. Part of me still thinks I did the right thing, but seeing how hurt and angry my boyfriend is makes me question everything. I can’t stand the thought of losing him, but I’m not sure how to fix this. I gave his beloved pets away.

How do I even begin to make this right? I really need advice on what to do next.

Thank you for sharing your story! Here’s some advice we’ve gathered for you.

Have an open, calm conversation.

Different people handle change in different ways, some respond very positively to a change in circumstances, whereas others may only be able to see problems and difficulty at first. You both need to talk about this in a calm environment. Let him know why you felt the need to rehome the cats, emphasizing your genuine concerns for the baby’s safety and well-being. At the same time, listen to his perspective—his feelings and attachment to the animals may help you understand why he’s so hurt.

Acknowledge his feelings.

Validating emotions with empathy builds relationships and supports emotional well-being. Start by validating his emotions. Understand that his connection with the cats is deeply personal, and what you did likely felt like a betrayal. Even if you feel justified, acknowledging his hurt can open a path to healing the relationship.

Seek professional help if needed.

If the problems in your life are stopping you from functioning well or feeling good, professional help can make a big difference. If the conflict continues or if it feels like you’re stuck in a loop of arguing without resolution, it may help to involve a relationship counselor. A neutral third party can help you both work through your differences and learn how to communicate effectively, especially when making difficult decisions in a partnership.

Relationships require difficult choices, especially when emotions run high. While it’s hard to undo past mistakes, acknowledging each other’s feelings and having open communication can help rebuild trust.