I Told My Teenage Daughter Who’s Obsessed With Looks That She’s Average-Looking
Teenage years can be wild — they’re filled with ups and downs, growth spurts, and emotional rollercoasters. Self-esteem and body image issues often rear their heads during this time. This story is about a girl who’s right in the middle of that awkward stage. Our reader got into the reality of parenting a teenager, especially when it comes to striking a balance between honesty and support.
One of our readers dropped us a message about her situation.
Thank you for being open and getting in touch! We’ve got some tips that might help you make things right.
Apologize to her.
When you said she looked plain, in your daughter’s mind, you confirmed her fears. She might be thinking that the kids at school are right. What’s more, she might remember and carry your words with her for the rest of her life. You were lying to her for so long, and then you decided to be painfully honest.
You might want to take her to a therapist just in case. It’s better to apologize to prevent any negative core memory from getting stuck in your daughter’s head.
Address the teasing.
Your daughter is being mocked at school, and you should help her out. It probably has to do nothing with her appearance. Kids make fun of other kids just to laugh. They might call her a “frog” not because she’s ugly, but because it’s funny for them.
In any case, talk to her teacher or the school administrator. Ask what actions they can take to resolve the issue. Alternatively, share your daughter’s story with the principal. After the meeting, write them a follow-up letter and make sure the necessary actions are taken.
Try offering her more support.
We all know that parents might exaggerate our charm and attractiveness, yet, when we ask them, we actually want to get that answer. Simply because we need affirmation from our loved ones.
At the moment, your teenage daughter thinks looks are everything. Don’t let her think that her self-worth comes from her appearance. Be supportive of her in interests, encourage her passions and goals. Try to divert her attention from looks as much as possible.
Help her improve her looks.
You might want to try and offer her some guidance if you wish. For example, you can come up to her and say, “You’re pretty, but if you want, we can have a girl’s day and get some new clothes.” Help her pick some nice outfits and maybe even choose a more appropriate hairstyle to accentuate her best features.
Besides, it’s also a great way to bond with your daughter and have a genuine conversation. Don’t side with the teasers, instead, tell her every day that she’ll always be beautiful in your eyes.
We have some more personal stories that you might find interesting or maybe even relatable. In this article, one of our readers refused to let his wife give their child what he considered a “weird” name.