I Want to Break Up With My Fiancé Because He Has an AWFUL Family

2 months ago

When we get married, we often take into consideration that we’ll have to communicate with our spouse’s family. Sometimes, the people who raised our beloved husband or wife, are the sweetest people on Earth. But there’re cases, when our spouse’s family may seem just horrible people, who demonstrate some really unpleasant attitude towards a new family member. Such thing happened to our today’s heroine, and she wrote us a letter, telling her story.

The woman had a very romantic love story with her fiancé.

A woman, named Kate, wrote to our editorial, telling us her complicated life story. Kate opened her letter, saying that she’s reconsidering her engagement with her fiancé, Paul, and she is balancing between her emotions at the moment.

She wrote that she and Paul, have known each other since they were 15 years old. Kate is now 30, Paul is 31, and he finally proposed to her. The woman admitted that Paul’s proposal was something that she’s always been dreaming of. She sincerely loves her fiancé and says that she’s always been feeling like a princess around him.

Paul has always been a generous and open-minded person, but there was a thing that made Kate disappointed about him. He had never introduced her to his family, and she hadn’t had a chance to meet his parents or his siblings during all their long relationship.

But finally, when Paul proposed to her, he announced that his family was willing to meet her in person and that they’re invited to a family dinner. Kate was relieved when she finally got a chance to meet her beloved’s family, and she expected the dinner to turn out just nice, but little did she know that the most horrible thing was still waiting ahead.

Meeting Paul’s relatives slowly turned to a real nightmare for Kate.

Kate wrote, “My husband-to-be has 2 sisters, mother and dad. I was totally excited to meet my future in-laws, especially after so many years of them being in shade for me, for an unknown reason. But it all shattered just in one moment.”

The woman didn’t hide her emotions when she was telling us about what happened at a family dinner. She continued, “A couple of days ago, I met Paul’s family. Some things about them just didn’t sit right with me from the start. I instantly noticed that his mom, Vera, was extremely possessive about Paul. Like, the first thing she uttered when she met me was, ‘so you are the woman that keeps my son busy.’”

The first impression grew into something even worse. Kate goes on, saying, “I know it may feel like a joke, but she said it in a despising tone. During the entire dinner, she was trying to avoid me. She would get mad and irritated whenever I got closer to my fiancé. She even made one very rude comment when I asked her if I could take a piece of pie that she had cooked. She replied, I will not be able to fit in my dress if I consume any more of it.”

Paul’s sisters were demonstrating the worst attitude ever.

Kate admitted that before the family dinner, she had been hoping to make friends with Paul’s sisters. She imagined that they were nice young ladies, and she didn’t anticipate any reason why they shouldn’t like her. But just like with her future mother-in-law, the sisters were absolutely negative towards Kate.

The woman explains, “Paul’s mom deliberately made me sit far away from her son so that she could sit beside him. I already realized she didn’t like me. But I decided to tolerate that. Vera was also way too harsh on her oldest daughter, Maria. She would make some weird comments like when she was getting married and if she still can’t get over Sam.”

The meat of the story was still ahead, as Kate understood further. She wrote, “The thing is, Maria used to date Sam for 5 years before he dumped her to be with the younger sister, Anna. Anna wasn’t very nice, either. She was very rude to Maria and kept bugging her to get married soon. Maria is only 33. I am sure she doesn’t need to rush.”

The attitude to the older sister wasn’t the only thing that frustrated Kate. She says, “Anna also despised me. She made some really mean remarks about my upbringing. I was growing up in a toxic family. I suffered a lot. My fiancé came from a good family, and Anna kept highlighting it while talking to me.”

Paul and his dad were just silent all the way, and this was the last straw.

Kate finished her story, saying, “Paul’s dad didn’t speak at all during that awful dinner. He just nodded all the time, and I barely heard his voice throughout that ordeal. The only good person there was Maria because she was just keeping to herself. Paul didn’t stand by me either, he was silent all the way and asked me to be patient, saying that we’ll talk later in private, and he will explain everything.”

The woman now feels that she will not be able to proceed with her relationship, and she now can’t imagine how she’ll live with Paul. She says, “I have this gut feeling that if I finally get married, this situation will be my whole life. I feel like I will always have to be in competition with his mom. Paul is incredibly nice and sweet. I have never felt so in love with anyone like it was with him. I am showered with flowers, he shows love and care, treating me like a queen. But I just can’t stand his family at all.”

Kate is now going to break it off with Paul. She is thinking about the reason to tell Paul, and decided to tell him she didn’t just feel good about their relationship. She decided to explain to him that they’re not compatible. She confessed that she’s heartbroken, and she feels that neither Paul nor her deserve it, but she feels like she’ll never be able to get over this family dinner that changed her life forever.

We’d advise Kate to draw a border between her husband and his family.

We’re grateful to Kate for her trust and for telling us her story. Our advice to the woman may sound a bit unconventional, but we’d still recommend her not to be in a rush with breaking up with Paul.

Kate is going to build her own family with her spouse, not with his mom, dad or sisters. These people, for sure, are very important for Paul, but Kate may just ignore them for the future, leaving it to her husband to deal with them alone.

As long as Paul’s parents don’t interfere with their family life, Kate could just forget about this unpleasant incident and explain to Paul that she feels bad in the presence of his family. She could try to draw a strict borderline between her own family and Paul’s relatives, and be an owner of her life and a master of her own house.

And here’s yet another family dilemma of a woman, whose MIL is so possessive of her son, that the devastated lady is thinking about a divorce.

Preview photo credit Valentin Lacoste / Unsplash


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