Raising children is hard and hence having kids should be a conscious choice that you make on your own. But sometimes life takes unexpected turns where you are basically left without a choice. This is what happened with a woman from Reddit who decided to divorce her husband because of kids.
I (F29) knew from a young age I didn’t ever want to have or raise children. I met my husband in college, and he was decidedly child-free too. We got married a couple of years back.
My husband’s younger sister (F24) has three kids (M5, M & F 2) with different deadbeat guys. Two months ago she left all of them at our house, said she was going on an errand and never came back. Just left. We filed a report and everything. Last we heard she was safe but did not want to come back.
My husband’s mom is a minimum-wage worker barely scraping by. She used to be a single mom and did not want to raise these kids.
I don’t want to raise them either. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for them. But raising kids is a huge responsibility I don’t want to take up.
In the 2 months they were here, our expense has increased, we had to buy them clothes and stuff, and they are sleeping in our living room on air mattresses (we only have one bedroom). I had to work from home and look after them cause my husband could not get them and daycare for 3 is expensive. It has been really rough, to say the least.
CPS did get involved and asked us whether we wanted to keep the kids or not. I do not. I thought my husband would be on the same page, but he wants to keep the kids. CPS has asked us to decide quickly and make necessary changes (get a bigger home for one).
My husband and I have gone back and forth on this. I cannot live the next 16 years like this. Raising kids is hard. And expensive. But he wants to be there for his family. Which I get.
So yesterday I told him I want a divorce. Quickly, before he made any commitments and dragged me into it with him. He got offended that I divorced him over kids. For abandoning him when he needed me.
I told him he knew my boundaries well in advance and this was a commitment (children) that he was unilaterally deciding on.
It’s obvious that both suffer from this situation since the man didn’t expect that his sister would disappear. And he cannot leave his nephews and niece and the woman didn’t want to have kids, but now she has to raise them. People online also expressed different points of view on it.
Which side will you take? Caring for children is a significant responsibility, and finding someone who may help with it can be challenging. Many parents turn to those they trust the most. For instance, another online user has shared a story where she faced a last-minute babysitting request from her sister.
OP sounds like an entitled selfish B....., but at least she's honest. She told him from the beginning she didn't want children, now here she is stuck with 3 small ones. She should end everything with him and the kids now. Let her husband find someone who will love him unconditionally and the kids as well.
