I Wanted to Name Our Baby After My Sister—But My MIL Thinks It’s Completely Unacceptable

Parenting begins long before the baby arrives—like picking a baby name. One mom-to-be wanted to name her daughter after her late sister, but her husband and mother-in-law disagreed, leading to an emotional family clash.

Dear Bright Side,

When I found out I was having a girl, my heart whispered one name—Anna, my late sister’s name. She passed away ten years ago, and I still carry that loss every single day. Naming my daughter after her felt like bringing a part of her back.

My husband, however, had other ideas. “Her name will be Eleanor,” he declared. “It’s tradition in my family. First daughters always take the grandmother’s name.”

“I’ve carried this child for nine months! Anna means everything to me,” I yelled. He didn’t even flinch.

Instead, he walked over to the dresser, grabbed my engagement ring—the one he had given me, the first one he ever bought—and slammed it down on the table. “This is my decision, not yours,” he spat. “It’s my family’s name that matters, not yours. You don’t get to make all the choices.”

My heart dropped. In that moment, it wasn’t just about the name—it was about everything I had given up for him. And now, it felt like I was losing myself.

Later that night, his mother called. I thought she might offer support. Instead, she said, “Don’t try to divide my son from his heritage. This baby is ours as much as yours.” I didn’t even respond. I just sat in silence.

We still haven’t decided on a name. I’m trying to stay strong for the baby. But inside, I feel so lost. Am I being too emotional?

Thank you so much for opening up and telling us what you’re going through! We’ve put together a few tips that might help you manage things with both your husband and your mother-in-law, while keeping your voice heard and your heart at ease.

• Consider a name that blends both stories. It doesn’t have to be one name or the other. Many families find peace in choosing a double name or a first—middle combo that honors both lineages. “Anna Eleanor” or “Eleanor Anna” could be a beautiful way to acknowledge both your sister and your husband’s family.
• Set clear boundaries with his mother. You don’t need to confront her aggressively, but it’s okay to politely but firmly say something like, “I appreciate your love for the baby, but this decision belongs to us as parents.”
  If needed, involve your husband in that boundary-setting — especially if her words are influencing his behavior. You’re simply protecting your role as a mother. Setting respectful boundaries now can save your family from deeper resentment later.

• Address the real issue behind your husband’s reaction. Your husband’s outburst — slamming the ring, making declarations — may come from a place of pressure or insecurity more than true disregard. That doesn’t excuse it, but it’s important to understand what’s driving his tone.
  Later, when emotions settle, you might say that you felt hurt and dismissed, and that what you need is a partner, not a judge. Let him know that partnership means making decisions together, not declaring them.
• Reflect on your values before making any final decision. When emotions run high, it’s tempting to dig in. But take a quiet moment to ask yourself: What matters most? Is it the name “Anna” exactly, or what she represented to you — strength, love, connection?
  Are there other ways to honor her? Naming your child after your sister is meaningful, but your love for her can show up in more than one way.

Picking out a baby name sounds fun—until it sparks unexpected drama. Take a look at 10+ Baby Name Stories That Seriously Stirred Family Conflicts.