I’m Keeping My Pregnancy a Secret From My Sister Because of Her Past Behavior

Some secrets aren’t about shame, they’re about self-protection. When one woman found out she was pregnant, she should’ve been celebrating. But instead of sharing the news with her family, she’s keeping it quiet... especially from her sister.

And the reason why? Let’s just say this isn’t the first time her sister tried to steal the spotlight.

She explained what happened:

I (28F) am over 3 months along, and I’m worried if I tell my sister (21F) that she’s going to try to get pregnant too... again.

Two years ago, I had my first pregnancy. I announced it to my family at dinner, and everyone was very happy and supportive of me. I’ve been with my BF (34M) for 5 years now, and it seemed like everything was falling into place for our midwest life.

But my sister is a narcissist, and saw how happy and excited everyone was for me and decided she wanted that for herself. She made it her mission to also get pregnant, while in college, with no job or place of her own.

She got pregnant within the next 2 months while at school and expected everyone to also be excited. Obviously, she got a different reaction and was really mad at everyone for not just accepting her irresponsible choice. She ended up dropping out.

Fast-forward to my emergency c-section, where we fought to keep my baby alive in the NICU, only to pass away at 9 days. I don’t want to get into the details of it, but obviously it was traumatic. And my sister’s world completely changed from thinking we would be raising kids together.

Her baby was born on time and healthy. And I hate to say, but she’s a terrible mother. She doesn’t prioritize her child at all, doesn’t even capture milestones or spend quality time with him, just dumps him on a family member for a few days so she can go out.

To each their own, but it’s extremely infuriating, considering how motherhood was ripped away from me, and she doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body.

Now, 2 years later, she’s still in the same spot. No job, living with her mom, doesn’t prioritize her child and didn’t go back to school. He isn’t speaking words and just grunting and is developmentally delayed.

I see this, and it makes me realize she didn’t really want a kid, she just wanted that unconditional support from our family that they showed me. So now that I’m pregnant again, I really don’t want to tell her. And my family has agreed with me not to tell her.

I’m worried she’s going to see that as an opportunity to get pregnant again because she’s obsessed with attention whether it’s negative or positive, and can’t stand the spotlight on me. But I feel bad the further along I get, and the more people I tell, she’s going to be extremely upset when she finds out. And if you know narcissistic rage, then you understand.

I figured maybe I’d tell her this weekend finally, BUT she just posted on her story “Going crazy this summer bc I’m manifesting a babygirl next year.” Like HUH? You cannot keep a job, you don’t even help your mom with rent, and you want to have a 2nd kid already? For WHAT?

You aren’t even a good mother to your first! The father wants to take him for custody! Makes me want to shake her by the shoulders.

Now I know when I tell her, she’s definitely going to try it again. I rarely see her, and we aren’t technically that close, so I could hide this for as long as I wanted TBH. Am I in the wrong for not telling my sister, or are my fears valid?

People showed their support:

• Keep it from her as long as you can, but remember that you can’t control what she does. The secrecy is for your peace. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope that this pregnancy goes well and brings you a healthy baby! © plm56 / Reddit
• Introduce her on your kid’s graduation if you can keep apart that long. Nothing good there to impart to your child. © Jo007athome / Reddit
• Getting pregnant at 21 and while being in college just for some attention definitely gives narcissistic vibes, she needs some serious help, and you not mentioning it will probably indirectly benefit her, but yeah you’re completely justified. © beesechugersports / Reddit

• That kid needs to be raised in as competent a household as possible, and a dad wanting custody sounds more promising than what the kid has had these past two years. © elusivemoniker / Reddit
• You don’t have to share anything with your sister, especially if she’s been problematic in the past. Prioritize yourself and your baby, if you can, maybe check in on your nephew, poor little guy seems to have it rough. © citationworms / Reddit
• You need to worry about yourself. You seem to be a little consumed by what your sister does. That is not healthy. Just worry about yourself and your child. © HisGirlFriday1983 / Reddit

Do you think she’s right to keep it a secret, or should she come clean? Let us know what you think.

Have you ever been judged for choosing your own path? Don’t miss our next article on women who redefined tradition on their own terms.