I’m Sick and Tired of My Husband Never Doing the Dishes, So I Took a Drastic Measure

It might sound like a small issue to some, but anyone who's dealt with a partner perpetually ignoring household chores knows the frustration all too well. And the woman in today's story couldn't handle it anymore.

She told the internet what happened.

Both my husband and I work full-time. I work in Real Estate, and he works at a shipyard. We both collectively work around 50-60hr weeks. We have 4 kids. 13yo twins, 12yo, and 8mo. My husband has every weekend off. I do not.

I implicated a chore system from the time my kids were little. But ever since I had the baby and since the kids are older, ALL of them have slacked off tremendously (including my husband). I pick our baby up from daycare around 5 pm and when I get home, I usually find my husband on the couch on his phone and the kids in their rooms playing video games/watching makeup tutorials. The house is generally a mess and honestly, the only issue I have is the dishes.

I don't care about anything else (because the rest of the house generally isn't dirty-dirty, just cluttered). But I have expressed several times that I am tired of having to wash all the dishes in order to cook and have lashed out in some not-so-nice ways (shut off the Internet entirely and took the chord with me to work so no one could use the Wi-Fi/watch TV, canceled family trips, groundation, got into big arguments with my husband). Things will change for a week to a month and then switch right back to them refusing to help. I'm honestly so tired of it that I don't even have the energy to speak up anymore.

As I said, my husband has weekends off, so he and the kids were home yesterday while I worked. Before I took off for the day, I told them, "You guys, chores had better be completed by the time I get home." They said "Yes ma'am" and I left.

I text husband around 4:30 pm asking what they all wanted for dinner because I had to stop off at the grocery store. I picked up what he said they all wanted and walked into my home, to find that not a single dish had been washed and there were at least 10 more dishes in the sink from when I left that morning.

I also noted that only a load of laundry had been washed and was still sitting in the washer and was never switched to the dryer. My husband was on the couch watching YouTube. Kids are off playing video games. Baby in her walker.

So, I put the groceries on the table, packed a bag for the baby, and told my husband, "Have at it, I'm going to Applebee's" and left. Maybe 20 minutes later he calls and says, "I washed the dishes, sorry. I was super tired today." I told him that's no excuse at all. 3 older kids have chores, and he couldn't even step up and tell his kids to complete anything either.

It's pure laziness at this point. He said, "I know, I'm sorry, I'm trying to work on it. Can you just come home, I don't know how to make this dish" (it's a pretty difficult dish, but Google is free). I told him no, I'm sitting at Applebee's and will be enjoying my steak and shrimp with the baby in peace and that he and the older kids can fend for themselves because apology or not, I'm not letting him off the hook here.

He had me on speakerphone, so he and all the kids laid right into me, asking me to please grab them something from Applebee's (it's one of our favorite restaurants). I said absolutely not and hung up the phone. When I returned home the groceries had been put away and apparently, they had grilled cheese and cereal for dinner. My husband and kids are still angry at me. I told them this is how it will be every single time they don't do chores from now on.

People stood by her side.

• "He's an adult and the older kids are old enough to make a sandwich. I did the dishes almost every night growing up, it was my contribution to the house. What are they all gonna do when they grow up and move out?" VioletBewm / Reddit
• "This is how you enforce a boundary in a healthy way to make sure you don't get trampled on."
  Old-Paleontologist-1 / Reddit
• "Stand your ground! If they’re supposed to do laundry and don’t, then take your clothes and the baby’s to a laundromat and let them figure out how to clean their own clothes." tonyrains80 / Reddit

• "He put the call on speaker and allowed the older children to lay into you??? Excuse me? He's showing your children that it is totally fine to disrespect you and that they should have no consequences for their actions or lack thereof. In what world is that okay???" mrsedge2009 / Reddit
• "You’re not your husband’s babysitter, and your children are old enough that you shouldn’t have to constantly nag them to do basic things like clean the dishes. It’s completely inconsiderate of them." BestConfidence1560 / Reddit
• "What a great solution!!! Glad you prioritized yourself and got some much-needed recharge time!" ___coolcoolcool / Reddit

Taking a drastic measure to address the issue of her husband never doing the dishes wasn't just about the plates and cutlery. It was about asserting the need for balance and mutual respect. This bold step served as a wake-up call, not only for him but for the whole family, highlighting the importance of shared responsibilities and the impact of seemingly small actions on their daily lives.