My Ex’s New Girlfriend Tried to Steal My Daughter—So I Made Her Regret It

After raising your children and pulling in all the hard work, finding out that they started calling their stepparent “mom” or “dad” can be a big blow. This woman shares her frustration after hearing her daughter do the same with her ex-husband’s girlfriend.

She was my ex-husband’s girlfriend.

The woman shares, “My ex’s new girlfriend invited my daughter, Lily, for lunch. Lily was excited and pushed me to say yes.

I was dropping her off, but what happened next broke my heart. His new girlfriend smiled, saying, ’Hi Lily! I’ve got a big surprise for you inside, do you want some cake?’ My daughter responded, ’Yes! I love you, mom!’

His girlfriend smirked, knowing full well that I was going to say no because Lily can’t have too much sugar, or she’ll get sick. She wanted to make me look like the bad guy.”

Hearing my daughter call another woman “mom” really stung.

I was going to let her get a taste of real motherhood. So, I chose not to say anything.

That night, after I went back home, my ex-husband called me and complained that Lily got sick. I could tell he’d been arguing with his new girlfriend about giving her cake. I told him I’ll be right over.

I quickly came by and took Lily to the doctor. But, as I arrived, I felt bad for what I did. Was I wrong not to stop my daughter from eating cake?

Reflect on your actions.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s completely understandable that you felt hurt when Lily called your ex’s girlfriend “mom” and when she deliberately undermined your parenting rules. In the heat of the moment, letting Lily eat the cake might have felt like justified revenge.

However, now that you’ve seen the consequences, it’s clear that this approach ended up hurting your daughter, too, even if unintentionally.

Talk to your ex-husband.

Consider having a calm, direct conversation with your ex why you limit Lily’s sugar intake. Try to emphasize that his new girlfriend needs to be aware of her health. If he’s reasonable, he’ll recognize that this isn’t a power struggle but a parenting issue, and he may be more willing to enforce the same rules at his place.

Set your boundaries with the girlfriend.

If the girlfriend continues to overstep, you might need to address her directly, but stay polite and firm. You could say something like, “I know you want Lily to have fun, but too much sugar makes her sick. I’d really appreciate it if we could stick to these rules so she doesn’t get hurt.” This puts the focus on Lily, not your personal conflict.

Talk to your daughter.

Lily is caught in the middle, and kids often test boundaries when there’s inconsistency between homes. Reassure her that you’re not saying “no” to eating sugary sweets to be mean, you’re keeping her safe. You could even turn it into a teaching moment: “I know cake is yummy, but too much makes your tummy hurt. Let’s find a special treat that doesn’t make you sick!”

Overall, the best thing to do right now is to reflect on your actions. Understand that not telling the girlfriend meant that your daughter got hurt in the end.

The extremes moms go for their daughters can be a bit much. Just look at how this woman handles being left out in her own daughter’s birthday.