My Girlfriend Refuses to Shower After Work and I Can’t Take It Anymore

Struggling with personal hygiene issues within a relationship can be incredibly challenging. And this is exactly what's happening with the man in today's story. He went online to seek advice on what to do.

He shared his side of the situation.

My girlfriend of a year and a half now doesn't like to shower after work. She smells heavily like Chinese food and I can feel the sweat that's on her body that gets all tacky after it dries. She insists on taking a shower every morning, but I feel like it doesn't make any sense.

The sheets get dirtier faster and smelly, and I don't feel comfortable really cuddling and touching her as much because I know she isn't really clean after a 10-hour shift on her feet making food from scratch all day. Though I am somewhat of a clean freak (I take showers sometimes twice a day morning and night). I told her I don't love her any less I just wish she would. She gets sad and quiet or gets angry and says she doesn't want me telling her what to do when she's tired.

People stood on his side.

• "That's gross. Sweat and grime from (food)work and the commute home. I'd want to shower to feel human again. She doesn't have to shower as soon as she comes home, just before she hits the bed. That gives her enough time to decompress and relax a bit.
  Doesn't even have to wash her hair if she has long hair and finds it difficult to groom after (get a shower cap), but at least her face and neck down should be clean. Depending on how much you love her, maybe incentivize her by giving her a daily 20-minute foot rub or back massage post-shower. Being on your feet for so long can be exhausting." peregrine_throw / Reddit
• "What is her biggest hangup about not wanting to shower?? It literally takes minutes and makes you feel soooo much better. You probably don't wanna hear this, but if you two are this opposite about stuff like hygiene... then it's probably not going to get much better... I wouldn't wanna cuddle that either." glenspikez / Reddit
• "I worked at McDonald's and Tacobell and I needed to shower after work. Couldn't imagine going to bed with all that grease on me." LordKalistos / Reddit

• “I would almost go as far as saying it’s part of the job to shower the minute you come back home. There are plenty of jobs like that. If part of the job is being constantly exposed to strong scents/odors, that’s what you smell like when you get off work. And I imagine the person themselves might become a bit nose-blind to it after a 10-hour shift, but it’s just plain logic.” moth_girl_7 / Reddit
• “You aren’t asking her to shave her legs and do her makeup or put on lingerie. You’re asking her to literally shower after being super sweaty, and her answer is ’Don’t tell me what to do.’ That level of childishness would turn me off just as much as the B.O. and grime.” heftybetsie / Reddit
• “She’s likely sweating all day and the exhaust from the ovens/stoves is transferring to her skin and hair. As a woman, I understand not washing your hair every day, but there is no excuse not to rinse off quickly.” nalto896 / Reddit

• “Morning showers are for office workers, night showers are for the working class. She grew up middle class, the same as me. Unfortunately, she’s working class, same as me.
  You maintain hygiene for the life you live. Nobody in the kitchen cares if you smell like flowers for the first fifteen minutes of your shift, they care if you can keep up. Just like nobody in the office cares what you smell like in the morning before your shower.” LowDudgeon / Reddit
• “I worked in the food industry and I get being so tired from work where you can’t be bothered with showering, but I don’t share a bed with anyone and I take into account when my laundry day is. If she doesn’t want to shower after work, the best next compromise is to have her sleep somewhere else in the home.” Odd_Okra_6336 / Reddit
• “Your concerns are justified. Her tiredness when coming home after work is too. Body odor and grooming habits may be hard to discuss and linked to emotional responses. If you guys can push past it and find some common ground, you’ll be happier and stronger.” DoNotFeedTheSnakes / Reddit

For many, maintaining yourself clean is a non-negotiable part of daily life. But what if your partner refuses to adhere to this basic standard, particularly after a long day's work? This is the dilemma faced by many individuals who find themselves grappling with their significant other's reluctance to shower post-work. It's a delicate issue that requires open communication, empathy, and perhaps a deeper understanding of the underlying reasons behind such behavior.