Relationships are often said to stand the true test of time. But sometimes, people decide to create their own tests to measure their partner’s commitment or support. Recently, a Reddit user, raggedyange77, shared a story of finding herself unexpectedly put to the test by her partner—and, according to him, she “failed” the so-called “supportive wife test.”
In her post, she explained how her partner had devised this test to gauge her level of support and loyalty. She had no idea she was being tested, and when she reacted naturally, her partner deemed her reaction unsatisfactory.
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A woman, 47, has recently posted on Reddit and provoked a stir of emotions with her family story. The desperate wife wanted to hear other people’s opinions about her situation, and every word in her story was full of emotions.
The lady, who went under a nickname raggedyange77, opened her post, saying, “My husband (46M) has been overseas on a business trip for the past week. I’m a school teacher (47F) and have been home on a midterm break. Over the weekend, our very elderly cat (19.5 years) began to deteriorate in health rapidly. So as soon as our vet clinic was open on Monday morning, I made her an appointment knowing they would probably recommend putting her down.”
“This all happened while my husband was on the longest return leg of his journey home and was uncontactable for over 10 hours, but I left messages on our family chat informing he and our (adult) children what was happening. The vet could only fit us in around hour before my husband’s flight was due to land. We hadn’t discussed how he was getting home but generally when he travels on business, he Ubers to and from the airport.”
The woman shared, “I knew my husband was feeling low before he boarded the plane. The trip hadn’t gone as well as he had hoped, and he’d had been confronted by a disgruntled associate in front of a number of people on the last day of a trade show. He’s not a confrontational person, so this caused immense distress and embarrassment to him.”
“I would have liked to have met him at the airport and the thought did cross my mind. However in previous years, he has been unreceptive of me ‘going rogue’ and arriving to pick him up unexpectedly. He has complained about the cost of parking and fuelling our car, when he could claim an Uber as a work expense much more easily. I think he also appreciates that final bit of alone time to reflect and debrief before submersing himself in busy family life.”
The OP added, “As I expected, the vet said it was time for our beloved pet to depart this life however, my children (20M and 22M) had not had the opportunity to say goodbye to a pet they had grown up with and had requested to see her one last time. So the vet provided medication to keep her comfortable and I brought her home for the night.”
The OP sounded very emotional as she went on with the details of her story. She wrote, “I stopped on the way from the vet to pick up ingredients for a roast dinner. As I was preparing to cook, I got a text from my husband saying he had landed and was aware of what was happening at home. I messaged back and asked if he wanted someone to pick him up (because one of our sons could have driven to the airport to get him at that point) but I didn’t get a reply. He caught an Uber home, gave everyone a warm hug and appreciated his roast dinner. We all spent the night cuddling and loving our beautiful moggy.”
Unexpectedly, the family idyll took a horrible turn. The OP shared, “The next morning he made breakfast and as we sat at the counter eating, he told me that I ‘failed the supportive wife test last night’ by not picking him up at the airport, knowing how his trip had ended. He said he hoped I didn’t fail it again on Sunday when he runs his first marathon. Side note, I’m not a runner and I don’t often attend his running events as he has a big group of supportive friends who are keen on running and usually, he tells me their support is ample, and it’s not necessary for me to be there.”
The frustrated wife explained, “There is also another little twist with this marathon. He signed up for it back in June. It falls on our 23rd wedding anniversary. We have had multiple discussions in the months since he signed up, and he knows I am annoyed that he allowed his friends to talk him into signing up (at the finish line of a half-marathon) to an event that will impact and dominate our entire anniversary weekend, without the courtesy of discussing it with me first (I WAS at that half-marathon.)
He got to the finish line, went and saw all his friends who were still in the competitors area, signed up for the marathon and then came and found me, with the spectators, to tell me about it. There was no reason why he couldn’t have included me in the decision-making process. I was standing just meters away.”
The woman shared, “Needless to say, the accusation of failing some secret, unspecified test left me absolutely stunned! I know he had a rough time in his last couple of days overseas, but it wasn’t much of a picnic at home either! I reminded him that I had to make a decision, just moments after having it confirmed that our beloved pet of 2 decades required euthanasia. To either race home, drop her off and rush out to the airport, or come home and prepare a nice dinner.
I couldn’t do both. I continued that I was feeling low too (because our cat, who was almost the same age as our youngest son) was dying, and I had been so preoccupied trying to keep her calm and comfortable that I hadn’t had time to do so much as plan for dinner.”
She added, “I had been crying all day and watching her suffer. I also pointed out that the time span between the vet appointment and his flight landing was finite, and there was a possibility (as he wasn’t expecting me) that he could have landed and got into an Uber before I even made it to the airport. In which case, he’d have had no airport greeting AND no dinner!”
The OP explained, “He reiterated that the roast was lovely and appreciated, but he still would have preferred I met him at the airport on this occasion. I guess after 23 years of marriage, telepathy was somehow added to the job description without so much as a memo!
The last few days have been tough on everyone. We’re all raw and emotional. So his comment to me over breakfast still echoes in my head. Is it possible that I ‘failed the supportive wife test’ by choosing to cook a roast dinner for my husband rather than meeting him at the airport on the evening I was told our 19-year-old cat needed to be put to sleep?”
People of Reddit rushed to the comments section, mainly in order to support the frustrated woman.
One person wrote, “No, you didn’t fail. It seems like your husband is in a bad mood and looking for a fight. My condolences for the loss of your kitty.”
Another user added, “Sounds like Hubby passed the ‘insensitive dude’ test by signing up for a marathon on for his 23rd anniversary and confirmed the award by complaining that wife didn’t pick him up when he has repeatedly said not to because it’s easier to expense the Uber.”
One more user said, “It also sounds like he thinks he’s the center of the universe and that everybody should just cater to him without asking how. He wants her to read his mind.”
Some concerned user advised, “Start every conversation the next week with some form of how he’s failed at being a supportive husband test. OP already has a great start! ‘You’ve failed at being a supportive husband by not being with me on our anniversary weekend. You’ve failed at not being a supportive husband by not answering any of my texts about the kitty.’
This one is fun because he literally couldn’t, but that’s the point. It’s RIDICULOUS.”
And here’s yet another story told by a woman who refused to honor her fiancée’s absurd family tradition, and nearly got cursed by her future MIL.
